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2021

  • 2 min read

On Feeling Drained by Social Interactions

Social interactions often leave me, an introvert, feeling drained. The last time I experienced this was at a farewell party surrounded by friends. The organizer had requested that everyone bring food to share, so I opted for a French baguette and assorted alcoholic beverages like vodka and tonic, Kenmore whiskey, and ginger ale. I chose these Western-style items to stand out, but they remained untouched by the end of the party. This left me questioning whether I should feel ashamed for not conforming to the cultural norms of Hong Kong, where people typically prefer Chinese food.

During the event, my friends engaged in small talk, discussing topics like favorite foods, workplace quirks, and other random matters. I mostly stayed silent, not because I'm unfriendly, but because I had nothing to contribute. For example, if the conversation turned to gaming, sports, or Western music, I was out of my depth, given my lack of interest in these subjects. I found it exhausting to sit there for an hour, nodding in agreement, pretending to be an engaged listener.

To counteract my social shortcomings, I could consider changing my lifestyle to become more outgoing and diverse. More social outings could enrich my experience, allowing me to share stories about activities like wakeboarding. Broadening my circle of friends would expose me to interesting anecdotes, and staying informed through books and news could add depth to my contributions in conversations. Otherwise, if I continue leading a monotonous life—staring at a computer screen day and night, eating the same meals, and never stepping outside my comfort zone—my social interactions will remain unremarkable. Being open to new experiences and adopting different perspectives can enrich my life. Having a range of hobbies, such as rock climbing, kayaking, coffee brewing, or wine tasting, can offer me more to talk about and connect over.

To mitigate the draining feeling I experience during social interactions, I need to improve my conversational skills to avoid awkward moments. It was an eye-opener to realize that some people can become the life of the party without revealing much about themselves. They skillfully steer conversations by acknowledging and commenting on others' remarks, asking questions, and giving genuine compliments. Although I've read numerous self-improvement books on building relationships, I've yet to put these techniques into practice. While reading about these methods is encouraging, applying them in real-life situations can be daunting, which is why I've hesitated.

In both my personal and professional life, mastering the art of relationship-building, connecting, and establishing rapport is crucial. If I can learn to derive energy rather than fatigue from social interactions, my overall happiness and success will likely improve.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

對於社交互動感到疲憊不堪

社交互動經常讓我，一個內向者，感到疲憊不堪。最後一次經歷這種情況是在一個與朋友們共度的告別派對上。主辦者要求每個人帶一些食物來分享，所以我選擇了法式長包和各種酒類，如伏特加和湛藍，肯莫爾威士忌，還有姜汁汽水。我選擇這些西式的項目以便突出自己，但它們在派對結束時仍未被觸及。這讓我懷疑我是否應該為不符合香港文化規範而感到羞愧，那裡的人通常更愛中國食物。

在活動中，我的朋友們進行了閒聊，討論了各種話題，如最愛的食物，職場趣聞，和其他隨機的事情。我基本上保持沉默，並非因為我不友好，而是因為我沒有什麼可以貢獻的。例如，如果對話轉向遊戲，體育，或西方音樂，由於我對這些主題興趣不大，我就無所適從。坐在那裡點頭表示同意，假裝自己是個投入的聽眾，我覺得非常疲憊。

為了抵消我在社交上的短處，我可以考慮改變生活方式，變得更外向和多元化。更多的社交活動可以豐富我的經驗，讓我能分享像滑水板這樣的活動的故事。擴大我的朋友圈可以讓我接觸到有趣的趣聞，通過讀書和新聞保持了解可以增加我在對話中的深度。否則，如果我繼續過著單調的生活 - 日夜盯著電腦屏幕，吃著相同的飯菜，從未走出我的舒適區 - 我的社交互動將始終平凡無奇。對新體驗保持開放態度，並採用不同的觀點可以豐富我的生活。擁有各種愛好，例如攀岩，皮划艇，咖啡沖泡或品酒，可以提供更多的話題，幫助我建立連接。

為了減輕我在社交互動中所感到的疲憊感，我需要提高我的會話技巧，以避免尷尬的時刻。讓我大開眼界的是，有些人可以在不透露太多關於自己的情況下成為派對中的焦點。他們擅長引導對話，對他人的言論表示認可並加以評論，提問，並給予真誠的讚美。雖然我已經閱讀了許多有關建立關係的自我提升書籍，但我還沒有將這些技巧付諸實踐。雖然閱讀這些方法使人充滿信心，但在現實生活中應用它們可能會讓人感到畏懼，這就是我猶豫的原因。

無論在個人生活還是職業生涯中，掌握建立關係，建立人際聯結，和建立良好關係的藝術至關重要。如果我能從社交互動中得到能量，而不是疲憊，那麼我的整體幸福感和成功可能會得到提高。

  • 2 min read

On Finding It Difficult to Approach Others

The last time I attended a networking event at a hotel as a guest, I was surrounded by strangers. Some people seemed to know each other and carried on chatting, while others were engrossed in their phones. My goal for being there was to meet new people and expand my social circle. However, instead of approaching anyone, I sat quietly in a corner. Eventually, a couple sat next to me. Excited yet relaxed, I contemplated introducing myself and striking up a conversation. But my hesitation took over. The longer I remained silent, the more challenging it became to initiate any social interaction. As time passed, my anxiety and social awkwardness intensified, making it feel as though time had come to a standstill.

Eventually, a speaker took the stage, and everyone returned to their seats. During the break, people reformed into small groups and resumed their conversations. I found it hard to integrate myself into any of these discussions. I felt that merely listening to people or discussing trivial matters like the weather would appear awkward.

In hindsight, I realize I could have approached the situation differently. There was no reason for me to be scared. After all, everyone was there to socialize and connect. It's not just about me; it's about collective interaction. Networking isn’t solely for expanding my social circle; it’s also about the value I can bring to the conversation. A meaningful dialogue occurs when we share ideas, whether interesting news or something that brings joy. By considering the other person's point of view, I could offer a potential solution, benefiting everyone involved. In the worst-case scenario, I risk rejection or embarrassment. However, since neither party knows the other well, no real harm is done. The upside, meanwhile, is limitless: I could learn something new, make a friend, or even advance my career.

If approaching larger groups intimidates me, I could start by interacting with individuals to overcome this shortcoming. To draw an analogy, the only way to learn to swim is to jump into the water. Reading numerous books on networking won’t help unless I practice. So, akin to learning to swim in a safety-netted pool, I could start by approaching people in more relaxed settings. The more people I meet, the more confident I become in my social skills. This confidence enables me to engage in deeper conversations and build genuine connections rather than sticking to mundane topics and generating an awkward atmosphere. By shifting my focus from myself to others, I become a better listener. Actively listening and offering insightful responses can lead to inspiring, engaging, and meaningful connections. One conversation at a time, I have the potential to make a positive impact.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

關於發現和他人接觸的困難

上次我作為一位嘉賓出席了一場酒店的交際活動，我被陌生人包圍。有些人似乎互相認識並繼續聊天，而其他人則專注於他們的手機。我在那裡的目的是結識新人並擴大我的社交圈。然而，我並沒有去接觸任何人，而是安靜地坐在一個角落裡。最後，一對夫妻坐在了我旁邊。我興奮但又放鬆，考慮自我介紹並開始交談。但我猶豫不決。我保持沉默的時間越長，開始任何社交互動就越有挑戰性。隨著時間的推移，我的焦慮和社交尷尬感加劇，使我感到時間仿佛停滯不前。

最後，一位演講者上台，每個人都回到自己的位置上。休息時間，人們重新形成小組並恢復了他們的對話。我發現很難把我自己融入到這些討論中。我覺得僅僅聆聽人們或討論像天氣這樣的小事會顯得尷尬。

回想起來，我意識到我本可以以不同的方式處理這種情況。我沒有理由害怕。畢竟，每個人都在那裡來社交和連接。這不僅僅關於我；這是一種集體互動。交際不僅僅是為了擴大我的社交圈；也關乎我可以為對話帶來的價值。當我們分享觀念時，不論是有趣的新聞或是帶來喜悅的事情，都會有有意義的對話發生。考慮他人的觀點，我可以提供可能的解決方案，使每個參與者受益。在最壞的情況下，我可能會遭到拒絕或尷尬。但是，由於雙方都不太了解對方，因此實際上並無真正的償害。然而，上升的空間，無窮無盡：我可以學到新的知識，交到新朋友，甚至提升我的職業生涯。

如果接觸較大的群體使我感到恐慌，我可以從接觸個人開始來克服這個缺點。打個比方，學習游泳的唯一方式就是跳進水裡。讀了很多關於交際的書籍也無濟於事，除非我去實踐。所以，就像在有保護網的游泳池學習游泳一樣，我可以先從在較為輕鬆的環境中接觸人們開始。我認識的人越多，我對我的社交技巧越有信心。這種信心使我能夠進行更深入的交談，並建立真正的連接，而不是僵化在單調的主題上，產生尷尬的氣氛。通過將我的注意力從自己轉向他人，我成為一個更好的聆聽者。積極聽取並提供有洞見的回應可以導致激勵人心的，有吸引力的，有意義的聯繫。一次對話接一次對話，我有可能帶來積極的影響。

  • 3 min read

Overcoming Silence -How to Engage with Strangers Effectively

I often find it difficult to speak up when I'm in the presence of strangers. During company meetings involving senior management and various stakeholders, many of my colleagues join the virtual call. At the end of these meetings, our director often asks if anyone has any questions. More often than not, silence ensues. Even in informal gatherings, the situation doesn’t improve; the boss usually monopolizes the conversation, sharing anecdotes without anyone daring to interrupt him. As a leader, I know I should speak up, but finding the right words can be a challenge.

This reticence to speak out has historical roots. In ancient China, if a government official said something that displeased the Emperor, the immediate response was often execution—of the official and his family. This historical context has led to a culture that advises caution when speaking within social hierarchies. However, this mindset is not appropriate in a startup environment, where feedback is essential for informed decision-making at the top levels. If I remain too reserved and overly polite around strangers, I won't develop into a better leader.

To address this, my first step is to exercise empathy. Strangers may also be hesitant to speak because they fear judgment. If I put myself in their shoes, I realize they are likely just as uncomfortable with the silence. By offering appreciation or asking insightful questions, I can show that I am actively listening, thus encouraging a more open dialogue. A warm smile, small talk, and genuine compliments can also make me appear more approachable, which in turn can make strangers more comfortable around me. It's a reciprocal relationship: a positive atmosphere requires active participation from both parties.

Finally, I aim to improve my communication skills by engaging strangers in conversation. This includes asking questions to involve them, offering comments to keep the conversation flowing, and using humor or storytelling to ease any tension.

To overcome my struggle with being overly quiet, I've committed to enhancing my communication skills. Writing has been a valuable tool for me to refine my English and organize my thoughts, thus preparing me for conversations with strangers. To have meaningful discussions, I need to continually challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone and engage with new experiences and ideas. Living a monotonous life limits my conversational topics, which doesn't add value to interactions with others. If you're not well-read or curious, you won't have fresh perspectives or independent opinions to bring into discussions. Thus, continuous learning is essential for genuinely engaging with people.

In conclusion, the journey to becoming more communicative and less reserved in social settings is ongoing. The more I engage positively with strangers, the more confident I'll become for future interactions. And who knows? We might just be surprised at how much we can learn from one another.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

克服沉默 - 如何有效地與陌生人交流

我經常發現我在陌生人面前很難開口。在公司會議中，涉及高級管理層和各種利益相關者，許多同事都參加了虛擬呼叫。在這些會議結束時，我們的主管經常問是否有人有任何問題。然而，通常都是沉默。即便在非正式的聚會中，情況也沒有改進；老闆通常壟斷對話，分享軼事，沒有人敢打斷他。作為一名領導者，我知道我應該說話，但是找到合適的詞語可能會是一個挑戰。

這種不願發言的態度有歷史根源。在古代中國，如果一個政府官員說了什麼讓皇帝不高興的事，立即的反應通常是處決官員和他的家人。這一歷史背景導致了一種謹慎在社會等級制度中發言的文化。然而，這種心態在初創環境中並不適合，反饋對於高層作出知情決策是必不可少的。如果我在陌生人面前保持過於保守和過分禮貌，我就不會成為一個更好的領導者。

為了解決這個問題，我首先要做的是運用同理心。陌生人可能也猶豫不決，因為他們害怕被評判。如果我將自己置身於他們的地位，我意識到他們可能也對沉默感到不舒服。通過表示讚賞或提出有洞察力的問題，我可以表明我正在積極聆聽，從而鼓勵更開放的對話。溫暖的微笑，閒聊，和真誠的讚美也可以使我顯得更加親近，從而使陌生人在我面前感到更舒服。這是一種互惠的關係：積極的氣氛需要雙方的積極參與。

最後，我希望通過與陌生人進行對話來提高我的溝通技巧。這包括提問問題讓他們參與進來，提出評論以保持對話的流暢，使用幽默或敘事來緩解任何緊張。

為了克服我過於安靜的困擾，我承諾提高我的溝通技巧。寫作對我來說是一種寶貴的工具，讓我磨練我的英語和組織我的思想，從而為我與陌生人的對話做好準備。要進行有意義的討論，我需要不斷挑戰自己走出舒適區，接觸新的體驗和想法。過著單調的生活會限制我的對話話題，這對與他人的互動沒有增值。如果你不善閱讀或好奇，你就不會有新的觀點或獨立的觀點可以帶入討論。因此，不斷的學習對於真正的與人交往是必不可少的。

總之，成為更具交際性和在社交場合更少保留的旅程正在進行中。我與陌生人的正面交流越多，我對未來的交流就越有自信。而且誰知道呢？我們可能會對我們可以從彼此身上學到的東西感到驚訝。

  • 2 min read

On Missing Opportunities Due to Isolation

During a leadership training course, our instructor posed a question about how we could improve our community in the face of the ongoing COVID-19 crisis. Suggestions could range from promoting social distancing to encouraging mask-wearing and frequent exercise. After a reflective five-minute silence, the instructor invited people to share their thoughts. Surprisingly, no one volunteered. We all avoided making eye contact with him. Finally, he moved on to debriefing the session, marking a moment of collective realization that although we were enrolled in a leadership course, none of us took the initiative to speak or lead. When questioned, some admitted they were afraid of misunderstanding the topic, some claimed they didn't know what to say, and others confessed to feeling shy. This was an opportunity to demonstrate leadership skills, but I, too, failed to seize it.

If I could turn back time, I would certainly raise my hand, ready my thoughts, and take the floor. I should have remembered that people are likely to forget my words and that we may never cross paths again. Most daily memories fade; I've already forgotten more than 80% of what the instructor taught and couldn't even recognize the attendees today. This is regrettable, as my original intent for joining the course was to expand my professional network.

In retrospect, there are several lessons I've learned. Firstly, I should embrace every opportunity that comes my way. Each chance carries inherent risks; for example, a joke might not land well because humor varies across cultures. However, what's the worst that could happen? While it might be uncomfortable, it won't be life-threatening and will probably offer a valuable lesson. Secondly, I plan to improve my public speaking abilities, which is why I'm joining a Toastmasters club. Though it feels unnatural for me to address a crowd, that's better than remaining silent when I have valuable insights to add to the conversation. Thirdly, I would remind myself to take a deep breath and enjoy the spotlight rather than stressing about it.

By being open to various experiences, I can become a better leader. I'll seize every opportunity to provide impactful presentations and exhibit charisma, even in socially uncomfortable situations.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

由於孤立錯失機會

在一個領導力培訓課程中，我們的教練提出一個問題，關於我們如何在持續的COVID-19危機中改善我們的社區。建議可以從推廣社交距離到鼓勵戴口罩和經常運動。經過五分鐘的反思沉默後，教練邀請人們分享他們的想法。令人驚訝的是，沒有人自願。我們都避免和他有眼神接觸。最後，他轉移到了對課程的總結，標記了一個我們共同認識到的時刻，那就是儘管我們報名參加了領導力課程，但我們都沒有主動發言或領導。當被問及時，有些人承認他們害怕誤解主題，有些人聲稱他們不知道該說什麼，還有些人承認感到害羞。這是一個展示領導技巧的機會，但我也未能抓住它。

如果我能回到過去，我一定會舉手，準備好我的想法，並發表演講。我應該記住，人們很可能會忘記我的話，我們可能再也不會相遇。大部分的日常記憶都會消逝，我已經忘記了教練教的80%以上的內容，甚至連今天的參加者我都無法認出。這是令人遺憾的，因為我參加這個課程的原意是擴大我的專業網絡。

回顧過去，我學到了幾個教訓。首先，我應該把握每一個來到我面前的機會。每一個機會都帶有固有的風險。例如，一個笑話可能因為文化差異而不會引起他人的笑聲。然而，最壞的情況會是什麼呢？雖然可能會感到不舒服，但不會威脅到生命，並可能提供一個寶貴的教訓。其次，我打算提高我的公共演講能力，這就是我為何要加入演講俱樂部的原因。雖然我覺得在眾人面前演講對我來說不自然，但至少比在我有寶貴見解可以對話題作出貢獻時保持沉默要好。第三，我會提醒自己深呼吸，享受在眾人矚目的時刻，而不是為此感到壓力。

通過對各種經驗的開放，我可以成為一個更好的領導者。我會抓住每一個機會進行有影響力的演講，並在社交上不舒服的情況下表現出個人魅力。

  • 1 min read

How to Download a View-Only Shared Google Drive Video

Last week, I received a Google Drive video that was shared with me in "View-Only" mode. When I tried to further share this video with my team, they encountered "Access Denied" errors when attempting to open the link.

Here are the steps for downloading such a video:

  1. Open Chrome and navigate to the Developer Tools, then select the “Network” tab.
  2. Reload the page where the video is playing and filter the results by “videoplayback” type.
  3. Right-click on this filtered link and choose “Open in New Tab”.
  4. Once the video opens in the new tab, right-click on it and select “Save Video As”.

That's it. No external plugins are required. You can then upload this downloaded video to a shared drive for your team or upload it to YouTube, depending on your use case.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

如何下載僅供檢視的Google Drive共享視頻

上週，我收到了一個以「僅供檢視」模式分享的Google Drive視頻。當我試圖將此視頻進一步分享給我的團隊時，他們在嘗試打開鏈接時遇到了「拒絕訪問」的錯誤。

以下是下載這類視頻的步驟：

  1. 打開Chrome並導航到開發者工具，然後選擇「Network」標籤。
  2. 刷新播放視頻的頁面，並按「videoplayback」類型篩選結果。
  3. 在此篩選鏈結上點擊右鍵，然後選擇「Open in New Tab」。
  4. 視頻在新標籤頁中打開後，右鍵點擊它，然後選擇「Save Video As」。

就是這樣。您再也不需要外部插件。然後您可以將這個下載的視頻上傳到您的團隊的共享驅動器，或者上傳到YouTube，視您的使用情況而定。