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2021

  • in podcast
  • 2 min read

A Love Not Meant for Me

Welcome, listeners, to another episode of Continuous Improvement. I'm your host, Victor, and today we have a very personal story to share. It's a tale of love, dreams, and the pursuit of self-discovery across cultures. So sit back and prepare to be inspired.

It was a fateful evening, years ago, in a small bar where our story begins. I was 28 years old, and she was a captivating woman, likely a few years older than me. Her name was Kim, and she emerged as my most stunning companion. Her South Korean origins and our shared love for travel connected us instantly.

Kim and I embarked on a journey together, exploring the wonders of Hong Kong, indulging in exquisite cuisines, and exchanging tales from our pasts. In her native tongue, she affectionately called me "Oppa," while I referred to her as "Noona," much to her chagrin. We were both fascinated by the cultural nuances and traditions that shaped our identities.

But as our bond grew stronger, Kim asked me a life-altering question. She was moving to a new city and invited me to join her on this new chapter. As I pondered my career and the consequences of such a decision, we communicated fervently through messages, bridging the language barrier between us.

As time passed, we yearned to be together, yet we realized the challenges we faced. Our priorities clashed with the reality of our lives. I struggled with leaving behind my career and the expectations of my family and friends. And then, during a magical moment on New Year's Eve in Sydney, she made a difficult decision. She believed she needed a more mature, financially stable partner, someone older than her.

I could have pleaded for her to stay, but I chose a different path—one of maturity and acceptance. I respected her decision, understanding that my journey would continue with or without her. I had the capacity to look after myself and thrive in solo exploration. But I couldn't help but wonder about the beautiful adventures we could have shared.

The destinations we visited may fade from memory, but the imprint of my beautiful journey's companion remains etched in my heart. She taught me valuable lessons about self-discovery and learning to relinquish control when paths diverge.

And thus, dear listeners, I share this story with you today to reflect on the complexities of relationships, the power of acceptance, and the personal growth that emerges from life's unexpected turns.

Thank you for joining me on this emotional journey. Remember, life is an ever-evolving process of continuous improvement. Until next time, keep growing, learning, and embracing the beauty of the human experience.

This is Victor, signing off.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

一個不屬於我的愛

當時，我28歲，她大概32歲 -- 儘管這只是我個人的猜想。我從來沒有實際問過她的年齡。在一些文化中，女性認為她們的年齡是一種嚴密守護的秘密，這可能被認為是不禮貌的詢問。我最好的猜測是她比我大一兩歲。值得注意的是，許多亞洲女性都有著優雅的老去方式。

我們在一個酒吧相遇。經過一夜的飲酒，她答應和我一起出去。我怎麼可能拒絕呢？她是我曾經交過的最美的伴侶。她的名字叫Kim，來自韓國的釜山。我們都熱愛旅行。她曾經去過加拿大，美國和澳大利亞。Kim甚至成為了我的韓語家教；每次她用她的母語說話，我都會被迷住。她是一位成熟的年輕女性，不再抱著關於關係或浪漫的天真想法。

我們遊歷了很多地方。我們參觀了香港最高的建築，在驚人的餐廳用餐，並分享了我們各自過去的故事。她深情地叫我"Oppa"，這是韓國女性用來稱呼男朋友的詞語，實際上意味著'哥哥'。諷刺的是，我認為我比她年輕。我叫她"Noona"（姐姐），這似乎使她感到惱火。韓國女性非常重視自己的外貌，並擔心衰老，經常去做整形手術以保持自己的外貌。

有一天，她宣布了改變。 “我要搬到一個新的地方，Oppa，你會跟我一起去嗎？”她問。 我毫不猶豫地說，“當然。” 但是，我也意識到，我也重視我的職業生涯。我怎麼可能只是為了另一座城市而離開呢？我們交換了眼神，她拉起我的手。 “好的，”她說，“你跟我一起去。” 我點了點頭，隱藏了我內心的掙扎。我需要時間來衡量我的選擇。

隔天，她飛往澳大利亞參加一門短期英語課程。但是我們的故事並未結束。我們在KakaoTalk聊天了一個月，說我們多麼想念對方。我們盡一切可能的溝通，因為英語既不是她的母語也不是我的母語。儘管我們都渴望在一起，但我們都知道這是無法實現的。我有我的職業生涯，她有她的，我的家人也不會理解。此外，我的朋友們也不支持，他們嘲笑我和一個韓國女性約會。

在除夕夜，我決定在長假期間飛行7小時去悉尼。我們在達令港的一家可愛的餐廳見面。我帶了一份昂貴的禮物，希望她會喜歡它。那個晚上即如魔法般美好。我們握著手，私下談論我們的未來。

隔天，我們去了華森灣，沉醉於我們共同的旅行愛好中。那是我人生中最快樂的日子之一。當我準備去接她去另一個冒險旅程時，她給我送來一條KakaoTalk消息。她說她不能和我一起繼續旅程。她需要一個比她年長，更成熟，經濟穩定的男人。

她離開後，我孤獨地決定以成熟的態度面對。我沒有乞求她回來，我告訴她我尊重她的決定。我意識到，無論我是獨自旅行還是與他人同行，都無所謂——我有能力照顧自己。我一個人去了許多國家旅行，但如果有一個美麗的旅伴陪我，這次旅行就會更加完整。如果能毫无顾忌地在塞納河邊牽著她的手，或者在阿爾卑斯山的馬特洪峰附近緊緊相擁，那將會有多美好！我可能忘記了許多我們曾經去的地方的名字，但我永遠不會忘記我的美麗的旅伴。

  • 3 min read

A Story of an Important Moment in My Life

As a child, my parents would often share life lessons through stories. I would listen intently, though I didn't fully grasp their implications. Now that I'm an adult, life has taken on new meanings.

What is the purpose of life? Generally, there are three types of responses:

  1. Yes, life has meaning, as argued by many philosophers;
  2. No, life has no meaning, a belief held by many ordinary people;
  3. I don't care.

The last type of response is common, possibly because people are too busy to consider it, perhaps because the question has been posed too often without yielding a satisfying answer, or maybe because they simply don't care.

I may not have all the answers to your questions about life's purpose, but I firmly believe that you should care. Different people find different meanings and purposes in life, and here's how I discovered mine:

I have a knack for getting into troublesome situations. During high school, I had ambitions to be the student union president; I didn't want to squander my youth on mundane activities. I grew up and was educated in Hong Kong, where we have one of the most rigorous public examination systems. Most students aim for good grades to get into top universities and secure stable, well-paying careers. I was no different, except that I also chose to run for student union president, thus inviting more challenges into my life.

My physics teacher warned me, "If you become the president of the student union, you're likely to fail your public exams and miss out on university. Statistically, most presidents are too busy organizing events and balancing their personal lives to prepare adequately for exams."

At the time, I had a girlfriend who was an exceptional student, aiming to enter business school and become an accountant. She had a more conventional path in mind: work, save, buy a house, and start a family. We had contrasting aspirations; she was a realist, while I was an idealist.

Amidst this, I was also attending university orientations and had a conversation with a philosophy professor whose books I had read. His talks on the meaning of life captivated me. Additionally, I was studying Chinese philosophy, which emphasized the qualities that distinguish humans from animals: empathy, justice, and altruism. These ideas greatly influenced my decision-making.

Influenced by these humanitarian concepts, I decided to run for the President of the Student Union. Despite numerous challenges and constraints, I was elected. The term I served remains one of the most memorable periods of my life.

In the end, I managed to score an A, a B, and a C in my public exams—good enough to gain university admission for my chosen subject. The life lessons I learned from serving as president were invaluable, far outweighing any academic grades.

This experience helped me understand the key components that give my life meaning:

  1. Learning to be a leader enriched my youth. The unique learning experience was valuable in itself, requiring no further justification.

  2. The ups and downs I experienced with my partner gave me a sense of purpose at that time.

  3. My service in the student union allowed me to contribute to my community and society. Giving up my time mattered to me because I cared for my peers, and I developed lasting friendships with fellow student leaders.

In summary, for me, the meaning of life revolves around learning, relationships, and contribution. I came to this understanding because I was deeply committed to seeking an answer to this pivotal question. While you'll have to discover your own life's meaning, the first step is recognizing the importance of caring in the grand scheme of life.

  • in podcast
  • 3 min read

A Story of an Important Moment in My Life

Welcome to another episode of Continuous Improvement. I'm your host, Victor, and today we're going to delve into the deep question of life's purpose. It's a topic that has intrigued philosophers and ordinary people alike for centuries. And while I may not have all the answers, I firmly believe that caring about the purpose of life is a crucial step in our personal growth and development.

Growing up, I was always eager to understand the meaning of life. My parents, like many others, shared life lessons through stories that left a lasting impact on me. However, it wasn't until I became an adult that these lessons truly started to make sense.

You see, when it comes to life's purpose, people generally fall into three categories: those who believe life has inherent meaning, those who believe it has no meaning at all, and those who simply don't care. While the last group is common, today I want to encourage you to care, to explore, and to discover your own meaning.

Let me share a personal story that led me to find my purpose in life. During high school, I had ambitions that went beyond the mundane. I wanted to be the student union president, even though it meant taking on more challenges and risking my academic future.

My physics teacher warned me about the potential consequences, stating that statistically, student union presidents often struggle to balance their responsibilities and academic studies. But I was determined to make a difference and follow my ideals.

Around the same time, I had a girlfriend who had more conventional aspirations. While I aimed for leadership and personal growth, she focused on a stable career path. Our aspirations clashed, but this contrast allowed me to reflect on what truly mattered to me.

During university orientations, I had the privilege of speaking to a philosophy professor whose discussions on the meaning of life captivated my interest. Studying Chinese philosophy, particularly the emphasis on empathy, justice, and altruism, further influenced my decision-making process.

With these humanitarian concepts in mind, I ran for the position of student union president. Despite the challenges and constraints I faced, I was elected. And let me tell you, it was one of the most memorable periods of my life.

Interestingly, while serving as the president, I managed to score decent grades in my public exams. This experience taught me valuable life lessons that far outweighed any academic accomplishments. It opened my eyes to the key components that give my life meaning.

Firstly, the opportunity to be a leader enriched my youth. The unique learning experience itself was valuable, without needing any further justification.

Secondly, the ups and downs I experienced with my partner during this time gave me a sense of purpose and growth.

Lastly, my service in the student union allowed me to contribute to my community and society. Giving up my time mattered because I cared for my peers, and I formed lasting friendships with fellow student leaders.

Ultimately, my understanding of life's purpose revolves around learning, relationships, and contribution. These elements became clear to me because I deeply cared about seeking an answer to this question.

Now, while your path might be different, the first step is recognizing the importance of caring. Understanding that life's purpose is not just a philosophical puzzle, but an opportunity for personal growth and fulfillment.

That's all for today's episode of Continuous Improvement. I hope this discussion has inspired you to explore your own meaning and purpose in life. Remember, caring is the first step towards a more meaningful existence. Join me next time as we continue our journey of personal growth and self-improvement. Until then, take care and keep seeking a purposeful life.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

我的生活中一個重要時刻的故事

當我還是個孩子的時候，父母常常會以故事的方式分享生活課程。我會專心聆聽，儘管我並不完全理解它們的含義。現在我已經成年，生活有了新的含義。

生命的目的是什麼？一般來說，有三種回答：

  1. 是的，生命有意義，這是許多哲學家的觀點；
  2. 不，生命沒有意義，這是許多普通人的信仰；
  3. 我不在乎。

最後一種回答很常見，可能是因為人們太忙而無暇去考慮它，也許是因為這個問題被提出太多次，卻沒有得到令人滿意的答案，或者是因為他們只是不在乎。

我可能不能回答你對生命目的的所有問題，但我堅信你應該關心。不同的人在生命中找到不同的意義和目的，以下是我如何發現我的：

我對陷入麻煩的情況有一種天分。在高中的時候，我有野心想成為學生會主席；我不想浪費我的青春在平凡的活動上。我在香港長大並接受教育，我們有一個最嚴格的公開考試制度。大多數學生都希望獲得好成績，以便進入頂尖的大學並獲得穩定、高薪的工作。我與眾不同的是，除此之外，我還選擇參選學生會主席，從而給我的生活帶來了更多的挑戰。

我的物理老師警告我，“如果你成為學生會主席，你可能會在公開考試中失敗，從而錯過大學。統計上來說，大多數主席都忙於組織活動和平衡他們的私人生活，而無法充分準備考試。”

那時，我有一個女朋友，她是一個傑出的學生，她的目標是進入商學院並成為會計師。她有一條更傳統的道路：工作，儲蓄，買房，然後開始一個家庭。我們有對立的抱負；她是現實主義者，而我是理想主義者。

在這其中，我也參加了大學的新生研討會，並與一位我讀過他書的哲學教授交談。他對生命的含義的演講吸引了我。此外，我也在學習中國哲學，該哲學強調區分人與動物的特質：同理心，正義，和利他主義。這些思想大大影響了我的決策。

受到這些人道主義理念的影響，我決定參選學生會主席。儘管面臨無數挑戰和限制，我最終當選，並且我的任期是我生命中最難忘的一段時期。

最後，我在公開考試中得到了一個A，一個B和一個C—足以讓我以我所選的專業進入大學。我從擔任主席的過程中所學到的生活教訓無比寶貴，遠超過任何學業成績。

這次經驗幫助我理解了給我的生活添加意義的關鍵要素：

  1. 學習成為一個領導者豐富了我的青春。這種獨特的學習體驗本身就很有價值，不需要進一步的解釋。

  2. 我與伴侶一起經歷的起起伏伏在那時給了我一種目的感。

  3. 我在學生會的服務讓我有機會對我的社區和社會作出貢獻。我願意放棄我的時間是因為我關心我的同伴，並且我與其他學生領導人建立了長久的友誼。

總結來說，對我來說，生命的意義圍繞著學習，關係和貢獻。我之所以有這樣的理解，是因為我深入地尋求這個至關重要的問題的答案。雖然你需要自己去發現你生命的意義，但第一步是在生命的宏觀架構中認識到關愛的重要性。

  • 3 min read

On Having Too Little to Say

I volunteered to take the stage at a Toastmasters meeting at the Sheraton Tower to challenge myself in impromptu speaking. The Table Topics Master randomly chose a topic for me, giving me two minutes to discuss it. This form of communication requires spontaneous speaking without prior preparation. About 50 people were staring at me. A timer in front of me was tracking the duration of my speech. I opened by asking, "Let's see how many of you consider yourselves to be leaders. If you are a leader, please raise your hand." Roughly half the audience raised their hands.

I set the tone by describing a project in my MBA program where I led by demonstrating how to accomplish tasks rather than blaming others and dictating what they should do. As I began discussing leadership through example rather than micromanagement, I found that I had run out of things to say. Anxiety flooded me as my mind blanked. Glancing at the timer seated in front of the stage, I noticed that only thirty seconds had passed. The audience's eyes were fixed on me, and as a minute elapsed, I decided it was time to formulate a satisfying conclusion. I ended by encouraging everyone to strive to be excellent leaders and to practice public speaking. My speech fell short, concluding at one minute and thirty seconds, not even reaching the two-minute mark.

If I could turn back time, I would have prepared in advance. The topic was unpredictable, and I had no way of anticipating it. However, if I had cultivated a habit of reflective thinking, I could have been better prepared. I would read more books and newspapers and maintain a database of quick-reference information. I'd gather a diverse set of life experiences to share compelling stories when the opportunity arose. Daily writing would enhance my skills; it serves as both a form of retention and a source of inspiration for me. If life isn't offering anything new or interesting, then there's nothing new to learn. While I’ve internalized some speaking guidelines and structures, including an opening statement, supporting arguments, and illustrative examples, more practice would allow me to express myself more freely.

Generally speaking, I need to work hard and practice more so that I'm not left with too little to say. Spending time gathering ideas, enriching my life, and learning new vocabulary could help me express myself more effectively and inspire others to take action and become great leaders. Initially, it might be challenging to incorporate these principles into my speeches, but persistence is key. Success is only a matter of time. It's better to have more to say than to fall short; articulate and fluent speakers are often perceived as stronger leaders. In an age marked by fear, uncertainty, and doubt (FUD), my commitment to improving as a leader remains steadfast. I admire those who can lead effectively and contribute to making our society better for current and future generations.

  • in podcast
  • 3 min read

On Having Too Little to Say

Welcome back to Continuous Improvement, the podcast where we explore ways to enhance our personal and professional growth. I'm your host, Victor, and today we're going to delve into the topic of impromptu speaking. This episode is inspired by a personal experience, and I hope it resonates with all of you who are looking to become better communicators and leaders. So, let's dive right in!

It was a typical day at the Sheraton Tower, where I had volunteered to speak at a Toastmasters meeting. Little did I know that the challenge presented to me that day would test my ability to think on my feet. The Table Topics Master randomly selected a topic for me, leaving me with only two minutes to address it. The pressure was on as approximately 50 pairs of eyes were fixed on me.

To start off, I engaged the audience by asking a simple question: "Who among you considers yourselves to be leaders?" It was fascinating to witness nearly half the room raise their hands. This laid the foundation for my impromptu speech, where I shared my experience of leading by example during an MBA project.

However, as I delved into the topic of leadership through demonstration rather than micromanagement, I hit an unexpected roadblock. My mind went blank, and I realized that I had run out of things to say. Panic set in as the timer in front of me barely registered thirty seconds. The audience's gaze was upon me, expecting me to fill the remaining time.

With one minute passing by, I decided to wrap up my speech with a concluding statement, urging everyone in the room to strive for excellence in leadership and public speaking. Disappointed, I realized that my impromptu speech fell short, ending at a mere one minute and thirty seconds, far from the intended two minutes.

Reflecting on that experience, I recognized the importance of preparation, even in unpredictable situations. If I had cultivated the habit of reflective thinking and seeking knowledge, I could have been better equipped to handle unexpected topics. Building a database of quick-reference information, embracing diverse life experiences, and daily writing would have enhanced my skills and helped me share compelling stories when opportunity knocked.

It's crucial to continuously seek new ideas and enrich our lives so that we can express ourselves more effectively and inspire others to become great leaders. Although it might initially be challenging to incorporate these principles into our speeches, persistence is the key to success. Articulate and fluent speakers are often perceived as stronger leaders, and by expanding our knowledge and practicing more, we can avoid running out of things to say when it counts the most.

In an age filled with fear, uncertainty, and doubt, our commitment to personal growth and leadership development remains unwavering. Let's aim to become the leaders who positively impact society and future generations.

That wraps up today's episode of Continuous Improvement. I hope my personal experience with impromptu speaking has provided you with insights and inspiration to hone your own communication skills. Remember, practice and preparation are key to overcoming any challenge. Join me next time as we explore more ways to improve ourselves and make a difference. Until then, keep striving for excellence! This is Victor, signing off.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

關於話說得太少

我主動義務在喜來登大廈的一次Toastmasters會議中上台發言，以挑戰我自己在即興演講中的表現。台上主題的主持人隨機為我選擇了一個主題，給我兩分鐘的時間來討論。這種形式的溝通需要在沒有事先準備的情況下即興演講。大約50人正在盯著我看。我的面前有一個記時器在記錄我的講話時間。我開始問道："讓我們看看有多少人認為自己是一位領導者。如果你是一位領導者，請舉手。"差不多有一半的觀眾舉手了。

我通過描述我在MBA課程中的一個項目來設置語氣，我在該項目中通過示範如何完成任務來領導，而不是責怪別人並指示他們該做什麼。當我開始討論如何通過示例來領導而不是微觀管理時，我發現自己已經無話可說了。我心裡充滿了焦慮，我的腦袋一片空白。看著舞台前的計時器，我注意到只過去了三十秒。觀眾的眼睛都盯著我，在一分鐘過去了以後，我決定該構想一個令人滿意的結束語了。我結束時鼓勵所有人都努力成為優秀的領導者，並練習公開演講。我的演講時間不夠，結束在一分鐘三十秒，甚至都沒有達到兩分鐘。

如果我能回到過去，我會提前準備。議題無法預測，沒有辦法知道會提取何种議題。但如果我有搭建反思思維的習慣，我就能更好的準備了。我會閱讀更多的書籍和報紙，並保持一個快速參考資訊的數據庫。我將聚集各種多樣的生活經驗，以在機會出現時分享引人入勝的故事。每日寫作會提高我的技巧，既是我保持的一種形式，也是我找到靈感的來源。如果生活中沒有任何新鮮有趣的事，那麽也就沒有新的東西可以學習了。儘管我已經內化了一些演講指導方針和結構，包括開場白、支援論點和說明性例子，但更多的練習會讓我能更自由地表達自己。

一般來說，我需要更努力且多練習，這樣我就不會說得太少。花時間收集想法，豐富自己的生活，學習新的詞彙可以幫助我更有效地表達自己並激勵他人採取行動，成為偉大的領導者。一開始可能很難將這些原則融入到我的演講中，但堅持就是關鍵。成功只是時間的問題。有更多的話要說總比沒有話說好，口齒伶俐和流暢的演說者往往被認為是更強的領導者。在一個充滿恐懼、不確定性和懷疑（FUD）的時代，我對於自我提升為一名領導者的承諾始終如一。我欣賞那些能有效領導並為現在和未來的世代創造更好社會的人們。

  • 2 min read

On Feeling Uncomfortable Around Others

Have you ever felt uneasy speaking in front of a group of people? I certainly have. This fear is common; nearly everyone experiences stage fright to some extent. My own apprehension became clear to me when I had to give a speech at a conference.

At the event, I was scheduled to speak and realized that I knew only three people in the audience. The thought of speaking to a room full of strangers made my heart race. Although I had read extensively about public speaking techniques, the reality was a different matter. Initially, I felt obligated to engage in conversations, which added to my discomfort. When it was my turn to speak, my mind went blank and my fight-or-flight response kicked in, elevating my blood pressure. As I concluded my speech, I pondered how best to leave a lasting impression, whether through humor or a poignant story.

I realized that instead of being self-centered, I should have engaged the audience by making eye contact and asking questions. Adding value to their lives, rather than merely speaking about myself, would have been a better way to garner attention and appreciation. Observing the audience’s reactions helped me relax and focus more on their needs than on my own insecurities. This shift in focus alleviated my initial tension and allowed me to appreciate the social interaction.

It's essential to spend time cultivating relationships to prevent discomfort in social settings. Numerous studies indicate that positive relationships significantly impact our happiness and help manage stress. This social engagement acts as an antidote to depression and is crucial for long-term well-being.

As I transitioned from a software engineer to a manager, my role evolved from solving technical problems to helping others solve a broader range of issues. I've learned that focusing solely on my own abilities is not sustainable. Instead, I need to trust others and feel comfortable around them. This shift from a technical focus to a people-oriented approach is not just about leveraging others' technical skills, but also about drawing on their interpersonal abilities. Learning to trust and feel at ease around others is a journey motivated by love and respect, and it is one that I am committed to continuing.

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On Feeling Uncomfortable Around Others

Welcome to "Continuous Improvement," the podcast where we explore personal growth and professional development strategies to help us become the best versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Victor, and today we're going to dive into a topic that many of us can relate to: overcoming stage fright and improving our public speaking skills.

Have you ever found yourself trembling at the thought of speaking in front of a crowd? I know I have. In fact, I remember a time when I had to give a speech at a conference and my fear of speaking to a room full of strangers was almost overwhelming.

As I took the stage, my heart raced and my mind went blank. It was as if my fight-or-flight response had kicked in, and I was desperately searching for the right words to say. In that moment, I realized that I had been too focused on myself, rather than on engaging with the audience.

In hindsight, I realized that I could have alleviated my initial tension by engaging the audience, making eye contact, and asking questions. By shifting my focus from my own insecurities to adding value to their lives, I could have fostered a better connection and made a lasting impression.

It's important to recognize that building relationships and social engagement play a significant role in our overall well-being. Numerous studies have shown that positive relationships not only impact our happiness but also help us manage stress. Cultivating these relationships can act as an antidote to feelings of depression and enhance our long-term sense of well-being.

As I transitioned from being a software engineer to a manager, I realized the importance of trusting and feeling at ease around others. I had to shift from a solely technical focus to a people-oriented approach. It's not just about leveraging others' skills, but also about recognizing and valuing their interpersonal abilities.

Learning to trust and feel comfortable around others is a journey driven by love and respect. It's a continuous process of personal growth that I am committed to continuing.

And that wraps up today's episode of "Continuous Improvement." Remember, overcoming stage fright and improving our public speaking skills is a journey that requires self-awareness, practice, and a shift in focus towards the audience's needs.

Thank you for joining me, and I hope you found our discussion insightful. If you have any questions or topics you'd like me to cover in future episodes, feel free to reach out.

Until next time, keep striving for continuous improvement in all areas of your life. Take care, and see you soon!