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  • 3 min read

Reasons to Write My Self-Help Blog

What if you had the power to write your own fate? We can't predict the future, but we can articulate our goals and dreams for it. We can't change the past, but we can interpret it through the lens of our own experience. While we can't control the present, writing about our current thoughts can serve as a form of meditation and mental therapy.

What if the most effective self-help book is the one you write for yourself? I've read numerous self-help books and find them momentarily invigorating, yet they rarely inspire lasting behavioral change. If these books truly worked, I'd be wildly successful by now. Instead, I find myself discouraged, always seeking the next self-help book. Journaling, on the other hand, is backed by scientific evidence as a method for self-reflection and personal growth.

On my thirty-first birthday, I pondered what the best gift for myself might be. While an iPad is tempting, material gifts offer only fleeting joy. I opted instead for a physical notebook for my writing. What if you began this experiment by jotting down your thoughts as well?

When starting to write a book, the hardest part is the first sentence. This is something my mentor, Ernest Chen, taught me. Don't overthink it; just write. Once the first sentence is down, the rest flows much more easily. Often, the writing process is influenced by my mood and can be a bit chaotic. However, it helps me recognize flaws in my thinking, ultimately enhancing my critical thinking skills.

Secondly, writing about a subject is one of the most effective ways to understand it. After identifying problems, I seek solutions through books and articles. I then rephrase these insights in my own words. If I struggle to simplify a concept, it's a sign that I need to revisit the material. Writing also helps to solidify memories and perspectives.

Thirdly, writing preserves memories that might otherwise fade away. When reflecting on my childhood, I realized how much I had forgotten. The thought that these years could slip away from me is frightening.

Political regimes often try to rewrite history. How can we trust a narrative controlled by the victors, while the losers' side is lost to time? While I don't intend to write solely from a "loser's perspective," I feel a responsibility to record what has transpired in Hong Kong and its implications.

In summary, it would be remarkable if this writing experiment helped me define my destiny. I've always wanted to be a good person, but what does that actually mean? By specifying the behaviors a good person should exhibit, I can hold myself accountable. Similarly, what does happiness mean for me? Different people might define it in various ways.

Do I enjoy my birthday? I'm not certain, but I see no reason to be sad. I'm grateful for the birthday wishes from family, mentors, and friends from around the globe. Material gifts have become less important to me over time, while lasting relationships have gained value. Wealth can't buy companionship; a fact underscored by the loneliness I felt during the COVID lockdown.

Isn't true happiness measured not just by what we receive, but also by what we give? How can I make a positive impact on society? How can I remain committed to my goals and overcome life's challenges? These are the topics I plan to explore in my writing. Even if this experiment fails, writing remains a vital life skill that I should continue to hone.

  • in podcast
  • 3 min read

Reasons to Write My Self-Help Blog

Welcome to Continuous Improvement, the podcast where we explore the power of self-reflection and personal growth. I'm your host, Victor, and today we're diving into the transformative world of writing.

Have you ever wondered if the most effective self-help book is the one you write for yourself? I've read countless self-help books, seeking that spark of inspiration and lasting change. But I often find myself yearning for more, which led me to discover the power of journaling.

You see, on my thirty-first birthday, I made a decision. Instead of indulging in material gifts, I chose a physical notebook for my writing. And that's when I embarked on an experiment that would forever change my perspective.

Ernest Chen, my mentor, once taught me that starting to write a book is all about that first sentence. You don't have to overthink it, just start writing. And once that foundation is laid, the words flow more easily.

Journaling has become a form of meditation and mental therapy for me. Through the chaos of my thoughts, I find clarity. It's as if writing gives me a mirror to reflect on my own thinking and improve my critical thinking skills.

But the benefits of writing go beyond personal reflection. Writing about a subject is one of the most effective ways to truly understand it. When I encounter a problem, I dive into books and articles, seeking solutions. And then, I rephrase those insights in my own words. It's a process that solidifies my understanding and allows me to simplify complex concepts.

Memories are precious, yet they tend to fade away with time. That's why writing also serves as a way to preserve our most meaningful moments. Looking back on my childhood, I realized how much I had forgotten. The thought that these years could slip away from me was frightening.

We live in a world where narratives can be manipulated and rewritten. How can we trust a history controlled by those in power? That's why I feel a responsibility to record what has transpired in Hong Kong and its implications. Writing gives me a platform to share experiences and perspectives that might otherwise be lost.

In summary, this writing experiment has become a powerful tool in defining my destiny. What does it truly mean to be a good person? What does happiness mean to me? By specifying the behaviors and values that align with my ideals, I can hold myself accountable.

Birthdays, once celebrated with material gifts, have taken on a new meaning for me. It's not about what I receive, but about the lasting relationships and connections. Happiness, I believe, is not measured solely by what we receive but also by what we give.

As I continue this journey of self-improvement, there are questions I cannot ignore. How can I make a positive impact on society? How can I stay committed to my goals even in the face of life's challenges? These are the topics that I plan to explore further in my writing.

Even if this experiment fails, writing remains a vital life skill that I will continue to hone. So, join me on this quest for continuous improvement through the power of writing.

Thank you for listening to Continuous Improvement. I'm Victor, and I hope this episode has inspired you to pick up a pen and write your own destiny. Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast for more conversations on personal growth and reflection. Until next time, keep writing and keep improving.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

寫我的自助博客的原因

如果你有能力寫下自己的命運會如何？我們不能預測未來，但可以明確我們對此的目標與夢想。我們無法改變過去，但可以通過自己的經驗來理解它。雖然我們無法控制現在，但寫作關於我們當下的想法可以作為一種冥想和精神治療的方式。

如果最有效的自助書是你自己寫的會怎樣？我讀過很多自助書籍，發現它們都能讓我短暫地振奮起來，但很少能激發持久的行為改變。如果這些書真的有用，我現在應該已經非常成功了。相反，我發現自己挫敗，總是在尋找下一本自助書。然而，日記寫作卻有科學證據支持，是一種自我反思和個人成長的方法。

在我三十一歲生日時，我思考了哪種禮物可能是我自己最好的禮物。雖然iPad很吸引人，但物質禮物只能帶來短暫的歡樂。我選擇了一本實體筆記本，用來寫我的文字。如果你也從把你的想法寫下來開始這個實驗你會怎麼想？

開始寫書時，最困難的部分是第一句話。這是我的導師Ernest Chen教我的。不要想太多，只需寫下去。一旦有了第一句，接下來的部分就能更輕松地寫出來。寫作過程經常受到我的心情影響，可能會有些混亂。然而，它幫助我認識到自己思考上的缺陷，從而增強我的批判性思維能力。

其次，寫作是理解一個主題最有效的方式之一。在識別問題後，我從書籍和文章中尋找解答。然後我將這些見解用我自己的話重新表述出來。如果我在簡化一個概念上有困難，這是一個我需要重新看待這個材料的信號。寫作也有助於鞏固記憶和觀點。

再者，寫作可以保存可能逐漸消失的記憶。當我回憶起自己的童年時，我意識到我已經忘記了很多事情。這些年份可能會從我記憶中消失的想法讓我感到恐慌。

政權經常嘗試去重寫歷史。如果勝利者控制著叙事，而失敗者的故事卻被時間所遺忘，我們該如何相信該敘事呢？雖然我並不打算僅僅從“失敗者的觀點”去寫作，但我認為記錄香港發生的事情及其含義是我的責任。

總的來說，如果這個寫作實驗能幫助我確定自己的命運，那將是非凡的。我一直想成為一個好人，但這實際上意味著什麼呢？通過指定好人應表現出的行為，我可以對自己負責。同樣，對我來說，幸福意味著什麼呢？不同的人可能會以各種方式定義它。

我喜歡自己的生日嗎？我不確定，但我覺得沒有理由感到悲傷。我很感謝來自全球的家人、導師和朋友的生日祝福。隨著時間的推移，物質的禮物對我來說變得不那麼重要，而持久的關係卻變得更有價值。財富不能買到陪伴；這是我在COVID封鎖期間感到孤獨時所深刻體驗到的。

真正的快樂不僅是我們收到的，也是我們給予的嗎？我如何對社會產生積極的影響？我如何認真對待我的目標並克服生活的挑戰？這些都是我打算在寫作中探討的主題。即使這個實驗失敗，寫作依然是我應該繼續磨練的重要生活技能。

  • 3 min read

A Brief History of My Childhood

My life story naturally begins with my mother, without whom I wouldn't exist or be writing this post. Before my birth, I had no awareness of the world around me. According to my mother, I was more of an accident than a planned child—a claim likely supported by the fact that I'm an only child and none of my aunts have children either. My mother could have chosen to abort me, but she decided against it, valuing life as a miracle. Born on July 31st, I was lucky enough to survive infancy. My early memories are vague, but some of my mother's sayings, like "money isn't everything, but everything needs money," have stuck with me. As an accountant, she values her education and problem-solving skills. She attributes my intelligence to her genetic contribution, discounting my father's role. While she doesn't hold a formal university degree, I regard her as a smart person.

When I was just a few years old, my maternal grandfather passed away from lung cancer. He was a great cook and had a vibrant personality, but he was also a heavy smoker. Despite health warnings, he chose to continue smoking, stating that he'd rather die young than give up the habit. Although I wish he had made different choices, I respect his approach to life: valuing personal happiness, even at the risk of one's health.

I owe much to my parents. While my intelligence might come from my mother, my father likely contributed to my physical appearance. I consider myself fortunate to have a blend of both. My mother disciplined me more strictly, often using a clothes hanger, while my father was generally more lenient. His only strict rule was regarding internet usage: he'd turn off the router at midnight to discourage my late-night browsing. My father's interests in computer games and electrical engineering shaped my own passion for technology, contributing to my current career as a software engineer.

During my primary school years, Pokémon was all the rage. Ironically, I never watched a single episode, making it difficult for me to socialize with peers who were fans of the show. Instead of joining conversations about Pokémon, I volunteered as a librarian and spent my free time reading. Chinese history fascinated me, especially the tales of ancient heroes. Sometimes, I'd daydream about being a wise advisor to an emperor, leading the nation to prosperity.

My primary school was Catholic, and we prayed daily. Though the experience didn't convert me to Catholicism, it did teach me the value of kindness. The school was located near my home and was attended by students from a variety of backgrounds, some from lower-income households. Our teachers advised us to avoid trouble, especially given the reputation of the neighboring secondary school.

Socially, I was a shy kid, brilliant academically but reserved in person. As a result, my closest friends were often other unpopular or bullied students. One of my best friends had been born prematurely, and his physical frailty made him a target for bullies—a situation I found deeply unfair.

Among my school memories, one that stands out is my fear of Mrs. Chan, a P.E. teacher known for her excessive makeup and overpowering perfume. Her mere scent could instill fear. On one occasion, I was unfairly punished for supposedly using hair gel, when I had only used water to style my hair. Instances like these made me equate school more to a prison than a place of learning, and I often wondered if a different educational system would have served me better.

Looking back, I've come to realize that the formative years of my life were a blend of blessings and challenges. Despite the ups and downs, I am grateful for the experiences that have shaped me into who I am today.

  • in podcast
  • 3 min read

A Brief History of My Childhood

Welcome to Continuous Improvement, the podcast where we explore the journey of personal growth and development. I'm your host, Victor, and in today's episode, we're diving into the story of my life. From my humble beginnings to the experiences that have shaped me, we'll take a journey through the ups and downs that led me to where I am today.

Let's start at the beginning, with my mother. She's the reason I'm here, the one who made the choice to bring me into this world. They say I was more of an accident than a planned child, but my mother saw value in the miracle of life and decided to give me a chance. She's an accountant, a problem-solver, and instilled in me the belief that money isn't everything, but everything needs money. While she may not hold a formal degree, I consider her a smart person who taught me the importance of education and critical thinking.

Life has its fair share of joys and sorrows, and for me, it started with the loss of my maternal grandfather to lung cancer. He was a vibrant man, known for his cooking skills, but he had a weakness for cigarettes. He believed in living life on his own terms, even if it meant sacrifices. While I wish he had made different choices, I respect his commitment to personal happiness, even at the expense of his health.

Both of my parents played a significant role in shaping who I am today. My intelligence comes from my mother, while my physical appearance owes itself to my father. My mother was strict, sometimes even using a clothes hanger for discipline. On the other hand, my father was more lenient, except when it came to internet usage. He'd turn off the router at midnight to keep me from staying up late browsing the web. His own interests in technology and computer games fostered my passion for all things tech, ultimately leading me to a career as a software engineer.

Childhood isn't without its challenges, and for me, it was navigating social circles. While most kids were obsessed with Pokémon, I found solace in books. Chinese history and the tales of ancient heroes fascinated me, sparking my imagination. I often daydreamed about being a wise advisor to an emperor, guiding the nation to prosperity. But as a shy and reserved child, my closest friends were often other unpopular or bullied students. I couldn't stand seeing injustice, especially when it came to those who were physically frail like my best friend, who always seemed to be a target for bullies.

As I reflect on my school years, a vibrant mix of memories come to mind. I attended a Catholic primary school where daily prayers were the norm. While it didn't convert me to Catholicism, it did teach me the value of kindness. The diverse student body, including those from lower-income households, showed me the importance of understanding and empathy. It was there that I realized the impact of our choices and the power of a supportive community.

Not all memories are pleasant, though. One particular P.E. teacher, Mrs. Chan, stood out for her excessive makeup and overpowering perfume. The mere scent she carried struck fear into the hearts of her students. Unfortunately, I fell victim to unfair punishment when I was blamed for using hair gel, which I hadn't. Moments like these made me question the educational system and wonder if there could be a better way to foster learning and growth.

Looking back at my formative years, I'm filled with gratitude for the experiences that shaped me into the person I am today. It's a blend of blessings and challenges that have taught me resilience, empathy, and the importance of continuous improvement. Join me in future episodes as we delve into various topics of personal growth and development, learning from inspiring individuals and experts along the way.

Thank you for joining me on this first episode of Continuous Improvement. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast to stay up to date with new episodes. Remember, life is a journey of growth, and together, we can strive for continuous improvement.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

我的童年簡史

我的人生故事自然從我的母親開始，沒有她，我就不可能存在，也不可能寫這篇文章。在我出生之前，我對我周圍的世界一無所知。根據我的母親的說法，我更像是一個意外，而不是一個計劃中的孩子 --- 這可能由我是獨生子女，且我所有的阿姨都沒有孩子，來支持這個說法。我的母親本可以選擇墮胎，但她決定不做，將生命視為一種奇蹟。我誕生於七月三十一日，幸運地走過了嬰兒期。我早期的記憶很模糊，但我母親的一些語句，比如「金錢不是一切，但一切都需要金錢」，使我記憶深刻。作為一名會計師，她很注重教育和解決問題的能力。她認為我的聰明才智來自她的基因貢獻，而忽視了我父親的作用。雖然她沒有正式的大學學位，但我認為她是一個聰明的人。

當我只有幾歲的時候，我母親的父親因肺癌去世。他是一個很好的廚師，擁有活力四溢的個性，但他也是一個重度的吸煙者。儘管有健康警告，他選擇繼續吸煙，並說他寧願年輕就死，也不願放棄這個習慣。雖然我希望他可以作出不同的選擇，但我尊重他的生活方式：即使冒著傷害健康的風險，也要追求個人的快樂。

我非常感激我的父母。雖然我的聰明可能來自我的母親，但我的外貌可能來自我的父親。我認為我很幸運可以得到他們兩者的特質。我的母親對我比較嚴格，經常用衣架懲罰我，而我父親一般比較寬容。他唯一的嚴格規定就是關於互聯網的使用：凌晨他會關掉路由器，以阻止我深夜上網。我父親對電腦遊戲和電子工程的興趣影響了我對技術的熱愛，並促使我現在成為一名軟件工程師。

在我小學的時候，寵物小精靈（神奇寶貝）很流行。但諷刺的是，我從未看過一集，這使得我很難與那些喜歡這部動畫的同學交流。我並不參與關於寵物小精靈的討論，而是選擇當一名圖書館志願者，並用我的空閒時間來讀書。我對中國歷史十分著迷，尤其是古代英雄的故事。有時，我會想像自己成為皇帝的賢臣，引領國家步入繁榮。

我小學是一所天主教學校，我們每天都要禱告。雖然這種經歷並沒有讓我轉信天主教，但它確實教會我善良的價值。這所學校靠近我的家，有來自各種背景的學生就讀，其中包括一些來自低收入家庭的學生。我們的老師建議我們遠離麻煩，尤其是鑑於附近中學的名聲。

在社交上，我是一個害羞的孩子，學業成績出眾但在人前保持矜持。因此，我最親密的朋友經常是其他不受歡迎或被欺凌的學生。我其中一位最好的朋友是早產兒，他的身體虛弱使他成為欺凌者的目標 --- 這是我覺得非常不公平的情況。

在我學校的記憶中，有一個我最鮮明的記憶就是對陳老師的恐懼，她是一位以過多的化妝和強烈的香水聞名的體育老師。她的氣味就足以讓人感到恐懼。有一次，我因為據稱使用了髮膠，而被不公平地懲罰，其實我只是用水來塑造我的髮型。這些事情使我把學校比作一所監獄，而非一個學習的地方，我經常懷疑如果有一個不同的教育系統，會不會更適合我。

回顧過去，我意識到我的成長歷程既有幸福，也有挑戰。儘管有起伏，但我對塑造我為今日之我的經歷心懷感激。

  • 3 min read

The Importance of Public Speaking

What is your greatest phobia? For some, it's a fear of dogs or spiders, but many of us are terrified of public speaking. The concern about being judged or ridiculed is constant. Recognizing its importance, I have enrolled in a course to hone my public speaking skills. This is a vital skill to master as it impacts us on three levels: personal, professional, and societal.

My fear of public speaking came into sharp focus when I saw a girl cry before she could even speak on a topic. This dedicated student, who aspires to be a diplomatic translator, was paralyzed by her fear. She is intelligent and fully capable of speaking, yet she found herself unable to do so.

Moved by empathy, I felt her fear but couldn't do anything to help. Her mother, initially proud and filming her daughter's attempted speech, eventually lost patience. The girl's eyes moistened and tears began to flow. The longer she waited, the more pressure she felt. How can we overcome such debilitating fear? Allow me to share my experience.

Personal Level: Public speaking can elevate your personal brand and visibility. Although I am an introvert, I understand the power of speaking up in class or meetings. The hesitation to ask questions, especially prevalent in Asian classrooms, isn't because students lack curiosity; it's the fear of appearing foolish. As the saying goes, "You may look foolish for five minutes for asking a question, but you'll be a fool forever if you don't." Taking the initiative to speak up builds confidence and leaves a positive impression on others, providing an advantage in both school and life.

Professional Level: In my role as an Engineering Manager, communication is my primary responsibility, not coding. A manager needs to effectively communicate with the team, inspire them, write reports, update senior executives, and impress clients. Recently, I successfully presented my company's product to the CEO of a digital bank and an audience of seventy people. Mastering public speaking is essential for my professional growth.

Societal Level: Public speaking can be a powerful tool for enacting change. Whether you're part of the Red Cross, Boy Scouts, or any other organization, you need to convey a clear message and shared vision. Take climate change advocates like Bill Gates, Greta Thunberg, or even Leonardo DiCaprio; their effective communication has helped mobilize public opinion. Speaking compellingly allows you to share crucial messages and effect change on a societal level.

In conclusion, while I may not be the world's best public speaker, I am passionate about it. Though I couldn't encourage the crying girl in that moment, I hope she continues to strive for improvement. Mastering public speaking offers opportunities on personal, professional, and societal levels. Don't wait for the right moment; create it by honing your ability to speak in front of groups.

  • in podcast
  • 2 min read

The Importance of Public Speaking

Welcome to another episode of Continuous Improvement! I'm your host, Victor, and today we'll be diving into a topic that strikes fear into the hearts of many: public speaking. We'll explore the personal, professional, and societal impact of mastering this essential skill. But before we begin, I want to share a story that inspired me to confront my own fear of speaking in front of others.

One day, I witnessed a young girl on the verge of delivering a speech. She aspired to become a diplomatic translator, and her dedication was evident. However, her fear of public speaking overwhelmed her, leaving her unable to find her voice. It was a heart-wrenching moment as I empathized with her struggle. Despite her intelligence and capabilities, she couldn't overcome the paralyzing fear of being judged.

This experience made me realize the importance of overcoming this fear for our personal growth. Public speaking is more than just a skill; it's a tool that can elevate our personal brand and visibility. As an introvert myself, I understand the hesitation to speak up in meetings or classrooms. But we must remember that being silent can hinder our opportunities for growth. Asking questions, sharing ideas, and voicing our thoughts not only builds confidence but also leaves a lasting impression on others.

Moving on to the professional level, public speaking plays a crucial role in our careers. Whether you're a manager like myself or an aspiring professional, effective communication is key. As an Engineering Manager, my primary responsibility is not coding but rather clear and impactful communication. From inspiring my team, writing reports, updating senior executives, to impressing clients, public speaking skills are essential for professional growth.

But public speaking isn't just about personal and professional advancement; it also has societal implications. Take, for example, influential figures like Bill Gates, Greta Thunberg, or even Leonardo DiCaprio. Their powerful speeches on topics like climate change have helped mobilize public opinion and initiate meaningful change. By harnessing the power of public speaking, we too can share crucial messages and inspire others to join us in creating a better world.

In conclusion, while none of us may be the world's best public speaker, we can all strive for improvement. Don't let the fear of being judged or ridiculed hold you back. Seize the opportunity to enhance your personal, professional, and societal impact by honing your public speaking abilities. Remember, it's not about being flawless; it's about having the courage to speak up, share your ideas, and make a difference.

That's all for today's episode of Continuous Improvement. Thank you for joining me, and I hope you found inspiration in the power of public speaking. Don't forget to tune in next time for more insightful discussions on personal and professional growth. Until then, keep striving to become the best version of yourself. Take care and keep improving!

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

公眾演講的重要性

你最大的恐懼是什麼？對有些人來說，可能是對狗或蜘蛛的恐懼，但許多人卻對公共演講感到恐懼。人們不斷擔心自己會被評判或嘲笑。意識到這一點的重要性，我報名參加了一門磨練公共演講技巧的課程。這是一項重要的技能，因為它影響到我們的三個層面：個人、專業和社會。

當我看到一個女孩因為恐懼而在開始演講之前就哭了出來時，我對公共演講的恐懼就變得非常明顯。這位專心致志的學生，她有志成為一名外交翻譯員，但她卻被恐懼所困。她聰明并完全有能力去說話，但她卻發現自己無法說出話來。

我被同情心所感動，我感到了她的恐懼，但卻無法做任何事情去幫助她。她的母親，最初對女兒的演講抱著驕傲的心情並拍摄下來，最后卻失去了耐心。那個女孩的眼睛濕潤了，淚水開始流下。她等待的時間越長，她感到的壓力就越大。我們怎樣才能克服這種病態的恐懼呢？讓我來分享我的經驗。

個人層面： 公眾演講可以提升你的個人品牌和可見度。雖然我是一個內向的人，但我理解在課堂或會議上發言的力量。在亞洲的教室裡，學生們不願意發問，並不是因為他們缺乏好奇心，而是他們害怕看起來愚蠢。俗話說得好，"問一個問題你可能會傻五分鐘，但如果你不問，你可能一輩子都是傻子。"主動發言可以增強自信，並在他人心中留下良好的印象，這在學校和生活中都是一種優勢。

專業層面： 在我作為工程經理的角色中，溝通是我的主要職責，而不是編程。一個經理需要有效地與團隊溝通，激勵他們，撰寫報告，向高級主管報告，並給客戶留下深刻的印象。最近，我成功地向一家數字銀行的CEO和70人的觀眾展示了我的公司的產品。熟練掌握公共演說對我的專業成長至關重要。

社會層面： 公眾演講可以是推動變革的強大工具。無論你是紅十字會，童子軍，還是任何其他組織的一員，你都需要傳達清晰的信息和共享的願景。像比爾·蓋茨，格蕾塔·桑伯格，或者甚至是萊昂納多·狄卡皮奧這樣的氣候變化倡導者，他們有效的溝通有助於動員公眾意見。有說服力的演說讓你能夠分享關鍵的信息，並在社會層面上產生變革。

結語，雖然我可能不是世界上最好的公眾演講者，但我對此充滿熱情。儘管我在當時沒有鼓勵那個哭泣的女孩，但我希望她能繼續努力提高。精通公眾演講在個人，專業和社會層面上都提供了機會。不要等待合適的時機;通過磨練你在群眾面前講話的能力來創造它。

  • 3 min read

How to Tell Your Colleague About a Body Odor Issue

One of the most challenging conversations involves informing a coworker that his body odor is affecting the entire department. I, along with several of my coworkers, have been enduring this issue, but someone has to address it, even though it's an uncomfortable subject. So, how should you approach it? I advocate a mix of initiating and supportive communication methods.

This situation began a few months ago when our company hired a new employee named K.K. After an online interview, K.K. seemed to be a friendly individual who always wore a smile. He came across as personable and had a range of engaging hobbies, such as basketball.

However, upon our first in-person meeting, I noticed that something was amiss. K.K.'s scent was unpleasant, to say the least. I had organized a welcome meal for him so that everyone in the department could get acquainted. As soon as he arrived, a foul, fish-like odor became evident. Initially, I attributed it to the air conditioning and we proceeded with our team lunch.

As time passed, the smell seemed to intensify. My colleague Cherry, who was seated next to me, texted me discreetly via WhatsApp, asking, "Hey Victor, do you smell that too?" I read her message, glanced back at her, and we both chuckled.

Then K.K. joined our table and asked, "What's so funny? Can you share the joke with me?" Cherry replied, "No, it's nothing," effectively killing the conversation. Others began to laugh as well, further isolating K.K., who appeared puzzled. "Can someone share the humor with me?" he queried. His question elicited more laughter. At that moment, I knew I had to act.

So what would you do in this scenario? There are four types of communication styles: direct, initiating, supportive, and analytical. Let's say you prefer straightforward communication. You might directly tell K.K., "Hey, you have a noticeable body odor. Could you shower more often?" While this approach may be efficient and effective, it could also offend K.K.

I prefer to avoid confrontation. I'm concerned about the repercussions for K.K. He might misinterpret our laughter and think we're making fun of him. Worst-case scenario, this could lead to a complaint to Human Resources. Using an analytical communication style might not offend K.K., but he could miss the point entirely. In that case, the problem remains unresolved.

Instead, I opt for a proactive and supportive approach. First, I schedule a convenient time for a one-on-one conversation with K.K. The goal is to create a comfortable space for open dialogue.

Second, regardless of your communication style, it's crucial to frame the conversation with sincerity. I need to be clear, saying, "K.K., I'm bringing this up to find a solution, not to criticize you." My intention is to help him out of genuine concern.

Third, I politely outline the issue and ask for his perspective. "K.K., are you aware of this? Is there a medical reason for the body odor? Is there anything we can do to help you improve your hygiene?" This allows him to express his concerns and make his own choices.

This method proved effective. K.K. was not offended and even thanked me a few days later, mentioning that he had consulted a doctor. My coworkers were relieved, and the issue of the offensive odor was resolved. I successfully navigated the conversation using both leading and supportive communication styles.

Life demands flexibility and the use of different styles of communication for various situations. We cannot force change upon someone; it's all in how we communicate. By choosing the right tone, I was able to assist K.K. and make a positive impact on the situation.