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  • in zh
  • 1 min read

擁有過小的社交圈子

作為一個在外國工作生活的僑民，我發現我的社交圈子相當小。雖然大部分的朋友都住在我的祖國，而我則透過我的工作與他們聯繫，但這樣的有限網絡讓我處於不利的狀況。例如，我最近因突如其來的租約終止而不得不離開我的公寓，發現自己哪裡都找不到新的住處。沒有廣泛的社交網絡指導我，我最後陷入了一種不太理想的生活狀況。那時我才意識到擁有更廣泛的社交網絡的重要性，用於獲取實際的建議，例如尋找可負擔的住房。

如果我的社交圈子更大，我本可以用不同的方式來應對這種情況。除了同事外，我需要通過積极參與各種社交活動來擴大我的人脈。作為一個內向的人，我默認的週末活動是在家看書，但我需要走出去與公共演講俱樂部，運動或文化團體進行互動。互聯網也提供了一個我通過參與博客寫作或主持播客，來了解與我不同的觀點並實現共享真理的機會。

我計劃定期發佈帖子來處理這個問題，主要有三個原因。首先，部落格寫作能夠讓我連接到我的直接社交圈子以外的人，同時也幫助我更好地陳述我的想法。有了這些在我的博客文章中已經探索過的思想，我可以更有效地與陌生人交流。其次，我有寶貴的見解可以分享。我最喜歡的物理學家理查德·費曼命名的費曼技術，假設用簡單的術語解釋某事可以幫助人們找出自己理解中的缺口。部落格寫作就是一個應用這種技術的平台，使我能夠鞏固我自己的理解和與他人分享知識。最後，定期寫作鼓勵自我反思。双重參與像喬丹·彼得森的《生活的12條規則》，在他的自我寫作網站上的一些練習，對我的個人成長和那些在我現有社交圈之外的人有著深遠的影響。

總之，對我來說，社交圈子的限制越來越明顯。積極地擴大這個圈子，無論是通過面對面的互動還是在線參與，不僅會在實質上改善我的生活，還會通過開放學習和個人成長的途徑來豐富我的生活。

  • 2 min read

On Being More Socially Skilled

We can use our social skills to build connections, influence decisions, and inspire change. However, during a recent class, social anxiety held me back. When the speaker asked for volunteers to ask questions or share their opinions, the room fell silent. No one raised their hand; no one dared to speak. Social skills are crucial for both my professional and personal growth, and their absence would be detrimental. Since I'm an expatriate who doesn't know many people here, I drove two hours to attend the event and expand my network. I did engage with locals seated next to me, learned from their life stories, and made new connections. But often, I found myself sitting in a corner, unseen and silent. Though hiding may feel comfortable and spare me any potential embarrassment, it also holds me back from engaging with others. To avoid awkward situations, I even left the class without making eye contact.

To better handle such situations, I need to overcome my social anxiety. Even celebrities experience nervousness; I'm not alone. I need to stop doubting myself and envisioning worst-case scenarios. The truth is, I have the skills and capabilities to handle these social settings successfully. Preparing opening lines in advance and practicing social engagement can boost my confidence. My networking shouldn't be limited to MBA events and formal dinners. I need to let go of the quest for perfection and recognize that mistakes are a part of the learning process. I don't have to compare myself to seasoned public speakers who have spent years honing their craft. Arriving early to familiarize myself with the venue and engaging with the audience can also ease my anxiety. If I don't manage to establish a meaningful connection immediately, it's not the end of the world.

In essence, the best way to improve my social skills is through practice. Whether the feedback is positive or negative, interactions with strangers provide valuable learning experiences. Frequent social engagements can help me overcome shyness and eventually alleviate my anxiety about speaking to strangers. It's important to remember that I'm not the focal point in these settings; I'm merely a participant. My fear of social interactions won't subside if I let my ego dominate my thoughts. Taking a deep breath, relaxing, and conversing naturally can go a long way. I have valuable contributions to make, courtesy of my wide reading habits, which provide me with current information, news, and even jokes. Finally, I should aim for a balance of friendliness and enthusiasm, enough to initiate a conversation but not so much that it scares people away. Developing social skills is a journey that takes time and effort, but it's a crucial investment for my future.

  • in podcast
  • 3 min read

On Being More Socially Skilled

Hello, and welcome back to another episode of "Continuous Improvement." I'm your host, Victor, and today we're diving into a topic that many of us can relate to: social anxiety. We all know that social skills are important for personal and professional growth, but sometimes, that fear of speaking up or engaging with others can hold us back. In today's episode, we'll explore strategies to overcome social anxiety and improve our social skills.

But before we get started, I want to remind you to subscribe to our podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you're enjoying the show, please leave us a review. Your feedback helps us grow and reach more listeners like you. Now, let's jump right in.

I want to share a personal experience that many of you may relate to. I recently attended a class where the speaker asked for volunteers to ask questions or share their opinions. The room fell silent. No one raised their hand, including myself. I drove two hours to attend the event, eager to expand my network, but social anxiety held me back.

It's a common scenario. We envision worst-case scenarios, doubt ourselves, and fear embarrassment. But the truth is, we have the skills and capabilities to handle social situations successfully. It's important to remind ourselves of that.

To overcome social anxiety, we first need to change our mindset. Even celebrities experience nervousness, so we're not alone in this. We should stop doubting ourselves and start envisioning positive outcomes. Preparing opening lines in advance and practicing social engagement can boost our confidence.

Networking shouldn't be limited to specific events or formal settings either. We need to let go of the quest for perfection and recognize that mistakes are a part of the learning process. By actively seeking social opportunities, we can gradually overcome shyness and anxiety.

Now, let's talk about some practical strategies we can implement. One effective tip is arriving early to familiarize ourselves with the venue and engage with the audience. This can help to ease anxiety and make us feel more comfortable in the environment.

Another important aspect is recognizing that we are not the focal point in social settings. We are participants. By taking deep breaths, relaxing, and conversing naturally, we can begin to alleviate our anxiety and feel more at ease.

It's also crucial to remember that we all have valuable contributions to make. Our wide reading habits provide us with current information, news, and even jokes. Embracing this knowledge and sharing it with others can be a great conversation starter.

Finding the right balance between friendliness and enthusiasm is key. We want to initiate conversations without overwhelming or scaring people away. Practice makes perfect, and the more frequent our social engagements, the better we become at it.

Ultimately, developing our social skills is a journey that requires time and effort. Overcoming social anxiety is possible, and it's an important investment in our future. So, let's embrace the opportunities to practice, learn from feedback, and grow in our interactions with others.

That's all for today's episode of "Continuous Improvement." I hope you found these strategies helpful in your journey to overcome social anxiety. Remember, it's a process, but with persistence, we can improve our social skills and build meaningful connections.

Thank you for listening, and don't forget to tune in to our next episode. Until then, keep striving for continuous improvement in all aspects of your life.

This is Victor, signing off. Have a great day!

[End of episode]

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

關於更具社交技巧

我們可以使用我們的社交能力來建立聯繫，影響決策，並激發變革。然而，在最近的一堂課上，社交焦慮阻止了我。當講師要求自願者提問或分享他們的觀點時，教室裡一片沉默。沒有人舉手，沒有人敢於說話。 社交技巧對我的專業和個人成長至關重要，缺乏它將是不利的。由於我是一名不認識這裡的許多人的外籍人士，我開車兩小時參加這次活動並擴大我的網絡。我确实與坐在我旁邊的當地人進行了交流，從他們的生活故事中學習，並建立了新的聯繫。但是，我經常發現自己坐在角落裡，無人問津，默默無語。雖然躲藏可能讓我感到舒適，並使我免受任何潛在的尷尬，但它也阻止了我與他人交往。為了避免尷尬的情況，我甚至沒有眼睛接觸就離開了課堂。

為了更好地處理這種情況，我需要克服我的社交焦慮。即使是名人也會感到緊張；我並不孤單。我需要停止懷疑自己，不再想象最壞的情況。事實上，我有技能和能力成功處理這些社交場合。提前準備開場白並實踐社交參與可以提高我的自信心。我的網絡不應僅限於MBA活動和正式晚餐。我需要放下追求完美的追求，承認錯誤是學習過程的一部分。我不需要將自己與花費多年精雕細琢技巧的經驗豐富的公眾演說者比較。提前到達以熟悉場地和與觀眾交流也可以緩解我的焦慮。如果我無法立即建立有意義的聯繫，這並不是世界的盡頭。

從本質上講，提升我的社交技巧的最好辦法是通過實踐。無論反饋是積極的還是消極的，與陌生人的互動都提供了寶貴的學習經驗。頻繁的社交活動可以幫助我克服羞怯，並最終減輕我對與陌生人說話的焦慮。重要的是要記住，我不是這些設置中的焦點；我只是一個參與者。如果我讓自我主義支配我的思想，我對社交互動的恐懼不會消退。深深地呼吸，放鬆，自然地對話可以大有裨益。我有寶貴的貢獻，我的廣泛閱讀習慣為我提供了當前的信息，新聞，甚至笑話。最後，我應該尋求友善和熱情的平衡，足以發起對話，但不至於讓人畏懼。開發社交技巧是一個需要時間和努力的過程，但對於我的未來來說，這是至關重要的投資。

  • 2 min read

On Feeling Drained by Social Interactions

Social interactions often leave me, an introvert, feeling drained. The last time I experienced this was at a farewell party surrounded by friends. The organizer had requested that everyone bring food to share, so I opted for a French baguette and assorted alcoholic beverages like vodka and tonic, Kenmore whiskey, and ginger ale. I chose these Western-style items to stand out, but they remained untouched by the end of the party. This left me questioning whether I should feel ashamed for not conforming to the cultural norms of Hong Kong, where people typically prefer Chinese food.

During the event, my friends engaged in small talk, discussing topics like favorite foods, workplace quirks, and other random matters. I mostly stayed silent, not because I'm unfriendly, but because I had nothing to contribute. For example, if the conversation turned to gaming, sports, or Western music, I was out of my depth, given my lack of interest in these subjects. I found it exhausting to sit there for an hour, nodding in agreement, pretending to be an engaged listener.

To counteract my social shortcomings, I could consider changing my lifestyle to become more outgoing and diverse. More social outings could enrich my experience, allowing me to share stories about activities like wakeboarding. Broadening my circle of friends would expose me to interesting anecdotes, and staying informed through books and news could add depth to my contributions in conversations. Otherwise, if I continue leading a monotonous life—staring at a computer screen day and night, eating the same meals, and never stepping outside my comfort zone—my social interactions will remain unremarkable. Being open to new experiences and adopting different perspectives can enrich my life. Having a range of hobbies, such as rock climbing, kayaking, coffee brewing, or wine tasting, can offer me more to talk about and connect over.

To mitigate the draining feeling I experience during social interactions, I need to improve my conversational skills to avoid awkward moments. It was an eye-opener to realize that some people can become the life of the party without revealing much about themselves. They skillfully steer conversations by acknowledging and commenting on others' remarks, asking questions, and giving genuine compliments. Although I've read numerous self-improvement books on building relationships, I've yet to put these techniques into practice. While reading about these methods is encouraging, applying them in real-life situations can be daunting, which is why I've hesitated.

In both my personal and professional life, mastering the art of relationship-building, connecting, and establishing rapport is crucial. If I can learn to derive energy rather than fatigue from social interactions, my overall happiness and success will likely improve.

  • in podcast
  • 3 min read

On Feeling Drained by Social Interactions

Welcome, everyone, to another episode of Continuous Improvement. I'm your host, Victor, and today we're diving into a topic that hits close to home for introverts like myself – social interactions. Specifically, how they can leave us feeling drained and what we can do about it.

Let me share a personal experience with you. Recently, I attended a farewell party with my friends. As an introvert, such gatherings can be overwhelming, and this one was no exception. There was small talk, laughter, and an array of delicious Chinese food. Amidst all this, I felt like I was on the outskirts, not being able to fully engage or contribute.

You see, I had brought a Western-style spread of a French baguette and some assorted alcoholic beverages, hoping to add a unique touch. But to my surprise, it remained untouched by the end of the party. This made me question if I should have conformed to the cultural norms of Hong Kong, where Chinese cuisine is usually preferred.

It's moments like these that make us contemplate our own social shortcomings. But instead of dwelling on them, let's explore how we can grow and improve our social interactions.

One approach I've considered is changing my lifestyle to become more outgoing and diverse. Perhaps attending more social outings, trying new activities like wakeboarding or broadening my circle of friends could enrich my experiences and give me more to contribute in conversations. The key here is to step outside our comfort zones and be open to new experiences and perspectives.

Another important aspect is improving our conversational skills. Think about those people who effortlessly navigate conversations, engaging others without revealing much about themselves. It's admirable, isn't it? But how do they do it?

I've read countless self-improvement books on building relationships, but I've yet to put those techniques into practice. The truth is, applying them in real-life situations can be challenging and overwhelming. However, it's important for us to strive to improve this aspect of our lives. The skill of acknowledging and commenting on others' remarks, asking questions, and giving genuine compliments can help steer conversations and establish rapport.

Now, mastering the art of building relationships doesn't just apply to our personal lives – it's equally important for our professional success. By learning how to derive energy rather than fatigue from social interactions, we can enhance our overall happiness and achievements.

But let's not forget that balance is key. As introverts, it's crucial to ensure we also have enough time for solitude and self-care. We need to recharge in our own ways to be the best versions of ourselves in social settings.

As we reflect on our own social interactions, let's challenge ourselves to continuously improve. Let's strive to broaden our experiences, sharpen our conversational skills, and find ways to nourish our introverted souls.

That's it for today's episode of Continuous Improvement. I hope you found some valuable insights to help you navigate social interactions. Don't forget to join me next time for more discussions on personal growth and development.

Until then, remember - continuous improvement is the key to unlocking our true potential. Take care, and stay curious!

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

對於社交互動感到疲憊不堪

社交互動經常讓我，一個內向者，感到疲憊不堪。最後一次經歷這種情況是在一個與朋友們共度的告別派對上。主辦者要求每個人帶一些食物來分享，所以我選擇了法式長包和各種酒類，如伏特加和湛藍，肯莫爾威士忌，還有姜汁汽水。我選擇這些西式的項目以便突出自己，但它們在派對結束時仍未被觸及。這讓我懷疑我是否應該為不符合香港文化規範而感到羞愧，那裡的人通常更愛中國食物。

在活動中，我的朋友們進行了閒聊，討論了各種話題，如最愛的食物，職場趣聞，和其他隨機的事情。我基本上保持沉默，並非因為我不友好，而是因為我沒有什麼可以貢獻的。例如，如果對話轉向遊戲，體育，或西方音樂，由於我對這些主題興趣不大，我就無所適從。坐在那裡點頭表示同意，假裝自己是個投入的聽眾，我覺得非常疲憊。

為了抵消我在社交上的短處，我可以考慮改變生活方式，變得更外向和多元化。更多的社交活動可以豐富我的經驗，讓我能分享像滑水板這樣的活動的故事。擴大我的朋友圈可以讓我接觸到有趣的趣聞，通過讀書和新聞保持了解可以增加我在對話中的深度。否則，如果我繼續過著單調的生活 - 日夜盯著電腦屏幕，吃著相同的飯菜，從未走出我的舒適區 - 我的社交互動將始終平凡無奇。對新體驗保持開放態度，並採用不同的觀點可以豐富我的生活。擁有各種愛好，例如攀岩，皮划艇，咖啡沖泡或品酒，可以提供更多的話題，幫助我建立連接。

為了減輕我在社交互動中所感到的疲憊感，我需要提高我的會話技巧，以避免尷尬的時刻。讓我大開眼界的是，有些人可以在不透露太多關於自己的情況下成為派對中的焦點。他們擅長引導對話，對他人的言論表示認可並加以評論，提問，並給予真誠的讚美。雖然我已經閱讀了許多有關建立關係的自我提升書籍，但我還沒有將這些技巧付諸實踐。雖然閱讀這些方法使人充滿信心，但在現實生活中應用它們可能會讓人感到畏懼，這就是我猶豫的原因。

無論在個人生活還是職業生涯中，掌握建立關係，建立人際聯結，和建立良好關係的藝術至關重要。如果我能從社交互動中得到能量，而不是疲憊，那麼我的整體幸福感和成功可能會得到提高。

  • 2 min read

On Finding It Difficult to Approach Others

The last time I attended a networking event at a hotel as a guest, I was surrounded by strangers. Some people seemed to know each other and carried on chatting, while others were engrossed in their phones. My goal for being there was to meet new people and expand my social circle. However, instead of approaching anyone, I sat quietly in a corner. Eventually, a couple sat next to me. Excited yet relaxed, I contemplated introducing myself and striking up a conversation. But my hesitation took over. The longer I remained silent, the more challenging it became to initiate any social interaction. As time passed, my anxiety and social awkwardness intensified, making it feel as though time had come to a standstill.

Eventually, a speaker took the stage, and everyone returned to their seats. During the break, people reformed into small groups and resumed their conversations. I found it hard to integrate myself into any of these discussions. I felt that merely listening to people or discussing trivial matters like the weather would appear awkward.

In hindsight, I realize I could have approached the situation differently. There was no reason for me to be scared. After all, everyone was there to socialize and connect. It's not just about me; it's about collective interaction. Networking isn’t solely for expanding my social circle; it’s also about the value I can bring to the conversation. A meaningful dialogue occurs when we share ideas, whether interesting news or something that brings joy. By considering the other person's point of view, I could offer a potential solution, benefiting everyone involved. In the worst-case scenario, I risk rejection or embarrassment. However, since neither party knows the other well, no real harm is done. The upside, meanwhile, is limitless: I could learn something new, make a friend, or even advance my career.

If approaching larger groups intimidates me, I could start by interacting with individuals to overcome this shortcoming. To draw an analogy, the only way to learn to swim is to jump into the water. Reading numerous books on networking won’t help unless I practice. So, akin to learning to swim in a safety-netted pool, I could start by approaching people in more relaxed settings. The more people I meet, the more confident I become in my social skills. This confidence enables me to engage in deeper conversations and build genuine connections rather than sticking to mundane topics and generating an awkward atmosphere. By shifting my focus from myself to others, I become a better listener. Actively listening and offering insightful responses can lead to inspiring, engaging, and meaningful connections. One conversation at a time, I have the potential to make a positive impact.

  • in podcast
  • 2 min read

On Finding It Difficult to Approach Others

Welcome back to another episode of "Continuous Improvement." I'm your host, Victor, and today, we'll be diving into the topic of overcoming social awkwardness and maximizing networking opportunities. We've all been in situations where we feel uncertain and uncomfortable in social settings, but it's time to break free from that fear and embrace the power of connecting with others.

Now, let me paint a picture for you. Imagine attending a networking event, surrounded by strangers. Some people seem to effortlessly socialize, while others, like you and me, find themselves hesitating, feeling anxious, and struggling to strike up a conversation. Perhaps you even retreat to a corner, feeling increasingly disconnected as time passes.

In a recent blog post I came across, the author shares their personal experience of attending a networking event. They found themselves lost in a sea of unfamiliar faces, unsure how to break the ice. The fear of rejection and the dread of social awkwardness seemed to take hold. But this story doesn't end there.

The author reflects on their experience and realizes that there was no reason to be scared. After all, everyone present was there with the same purpose - to socialize, connect, and share experiences. It wasn't solely about expanding their own social circle but also about the value they could bring to the conversation. The realization dawns that meaningful dialogue occurs when we share ideas, opening doors to potential solutions and benefiting everyone involved.

It's true. Sometimes, the fear of initiating conversation holds us back, preventing us from learning something new, making a friend, or even advancing our careers. But what if we shift our focus from ourselves to others? How can we become better listeners and offer insightful responses that create engaging and meaningful connections?

To overcome the intimidation of approaching larger groups, the author suggests starting with one-on-one interactions. Just like learning to swim by jumping into the water, reading countless books on networking won't help unless we put ourselves out there and practice. By gradually building confidence through connecting with individuals in relaxed settings, we can develop our social skills and engage in deeper conversations.

By shifting our mindset and actively listening, we have the potential to make a positive impact, sparking inspiration and building genuine connections. It all starts with one conversation at a time.

So, for our listeners who may find themselves feeling socially awkward or hesitant in networking situations, remember this: the upsides of initiating conversations far outweigh any potential rejection or embarrassment. The more we practice, the more comfortable we become, and the greater our chances are of creating meaningful connections.

Well, that brings us to the end of today's episode. I hope you found these insights on overcoming social awkwardness valuable. Remember, continuous improvement is not just about personal growth—it's about expanding our horizons and connecting with others.

Thank you for tuning in to "Continuous Improvement" with me, Victor. Until next time, keep embracing new challenges, stepping out of your comfort zone, and improving every single day.

  • in zh
  • 1 min read

關於發現和他人接觸的困難

上次我作為一位嘉賓出席了一場酒店的交際活動，我被陌生人包圍。有些人似乎互相認識並繼續聊天，而其他人則專注於他們的手機。我在那裡的目的是結識新人並擴大我的社交圈。然而，我並沒有去接觸任何人，而是安靜地坐在一個角落裡。最後，一對夫妻坐在了我旁邊。我興奮但又放鬆，考慮自我介紹並開始交談。但我猶豫不決。我保持沉默的時間越長，開始任何社交互動就越有挑戰性。隨著時間的推移，我的焦慮和社交尷尬感加劇，使我感到時間仿佛停滯不前。

最後，一位演講者上台，每個人都回到自己的位置上。休息時間，人們重新形成小組並恢復了他們的對話。我發現很難把我自己融入到這些討論中。我覺得僅僅聆聽人們或討論像天氣這樣的小事會顯得尷尬。

回想起來，我意識到我本可以以不同的方式處理這種情況。我沒有理由害怕。畢竟，每個人都在那裡來社交和連接。這不僅僅關於我；這是一種集體互動。交際不僅僅是為了擴大我的社交圈；也關乎我可以為對話帶來的價值。當我們分享觀念時，不論是有趣的新聞或是帶來喜悅的事情，都會有有意義的對話發生。考慮他人的觀點，我可以提供可能的解決方案，使每個參與者受益。在最壞的情況下，我可能會遭到拒絕或尷尬。但是，由於雙方都不太了解對方，因此實際上並無真正的償害。然而，上升的空間，無窮無盡：我可以學到新的知識，交到新朋友，甚至提升我的職業生涯。

如果接觸較大的群體使我感到恐慌，我可以從接觸個人開始來克服這個缺點。打個比方，學習游泳的唯一方式就是跳進水裡。讀了很多關於交際的書籍也無濟於事，除非我去實踐。所以，就像在有保護網的游泳池學習游泳一樣，我可以先從在較為輕鬆的環境中接觸人們開始。我認識的人越多，我對我的社交技巧越有信心。這種信心使我能夠進行更深入的交談，並建立真正的連接，而不是僵化在單調的主題上，產生尷尬的氣氛。通過將我的注意力從自己轉向他人，我成為一個更好的聆聽者。積極聽取並提供有洞見的回應可以導致激勵人心的，有吸引力的，有意義的聯繫。一次對話接一次對話，我有可能帶來積極的影響。