A love that not meant for me

I was 28 and she was 32. Maybe. This is just my guess anyway. I never know the exact number since I never asked. Age is a big secret for women, and they worry about it so much that it’s rude to ask. My best guess is that she’s slightly older than me, although I can’t be sure as Asian women keep a good shape and like frozen their age.

We met in a bar. And after drinking all night, she decided to go out with me. I couldn’t resist her. She was the most beautiful partner I have ever had. She was a Korean and her hometown was in Busan. We have a common interest, I love travelling and she loved travelling too. She went to Canada, the US and Australia. She loves talking and taught me many Korean words. Every time she spoke in her language, it had an attraction to me. And a woman at her age is getting mature and no longer thinks childish about relationships or fantasy about love stories.

We travelled a lot. We went to the tallest building in Hong Kong. We used to go out and have dinner at nice restaurants, telling interesting stories that happened in our past. She was calling me “Oppa” which’s the way Korean girls call their boyfriend, although it means elder brother, I guess I was younger than her. And I was joking to call her “Noona”, which means elder sister, which she would get offended. That is one thing about Korean women that they care about their beauty a lot and worry about getting old. It is very popular for Korean girls to do cosmetic surgery to make sure they look young and never get old.

And one day she told me she planned to travel to another location, she asked if I would come with her? I said of course, and I would visit her later, but at that moment, I knew it’s the end. Oh my god, we would not be able to maintain a long-distance relationship. I knew it was the end since I would not just leave my job and went to Australia for her. You see I didn’t tell the truth. I loved my job and I loved Hong Kong.

And the next day she landed in Australia to study a short course in English school. But it wasn’t over. We kept messaging each other on Kakao talk. For a month, we were still struggling and telling each other how much we missed each other. We struggled to express ourselves since English was not her first language and not mine also. I was ready to visit her, and she always asked me to come, but we both knew that it just wasn’t possible. We could not do this anytime we wanted. We shouldn’t sacrifice our career in this way. My family could not understand us as our Asian family culture never talked about my relationship at home. My friends even less as they all make fun of me meeting a Korean woman as a girlfriend.

And time was ticking. And then at new year times, it was a long holiday and I decided to fly to Sydney on a 7 hours flight just to meet her. And finally, we met at a nice restaurant at Darling Harbour. I prepared an expensive gift and hoped she would like it. She was happy to see me and everything went well that night. She was beautiful with her smile. We had a conversation about our future.

And the next day, we went to travel in Watsons Bay, because travelling is our common interest and favourite things to do in our lives. Everything went well. It was one of the happiest days of my life.

We planned to go travel more places, but the other day when I prepared to pick her up at her place, she sent me a Kakao talk message. She said she would not come to join me to travel anymore. She said let’s just be friends. Instead, she needs a grown-up man, a man who can afford her style of living, a man who can take care of her, and a man who is older than her. I was too young for this relationship.

After she left me, I was alone. As a mature man, I could only wish her the best, even though I was upset. As a mature man, I could not just cry and beg her to come back, instead, I just told her I understood. I love to travel. And I could have travelled to a couple more places in Australia and explored all the beautiful places, but then I realised it doesn’t matter where to go for travel anymore, what matters is who I go with. I have been to Australia for a year, the US for half a year, UK, France Germany, Switzerland, Japan for weeks… all the beautiful places. I already forgot most of the destinations, but what I still remember is the person that I went with.

Originally published at https://victorleungtw.com.

By Victor Leung

Experience in software development, consulting services and technical product management. Understanding of business and technology with an MBA in Finance and a Master degree in Computer Science. AWS Certified Solution Architect with experience in building products from scratch and serving as a charismatic leader.

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