Continuous improvement

Dear readers, 

Thank you for reading my blog and being interested in going through the journey with me. You probably have your dilemmas to face and the challenges that you need to overcome in your life. That’s why you were interested in reading my blog to see how I deal with them. You know why you are stuck in life, and I shared my personal experience:

In my first twelve love relationships, I failed twelve times. In between those relationships, it’s not that I was entirely not attractive. After failed six times, I improved myself, such as getting a better haircut and clothing. But I still kept falling. I thought this time could be stable in the last two relationships, but they did not lead to marriage eventually. Why is it? I do not wish you to accumulate those painful experiences as I did. That is why I wrote this blog to help you avoid the same tragedy from happening. 

Why your relationships are going to fail? Maybe your partner got better options, and she chooses your competitors. When we said better choices, perhaps because your qualities are not good enough, you are not that handsome or rich. The ocean is full of fish. You could not stop your partner from choosing her ideal man in life. 

What can you do in this situation? When your quality is not the best, my recommendation in the blog is: don’t be jealous and don’t have self-pity. Don’t talk bad things about others. At the moment, what you should do is very simple, just two words: Continuous improvement. 

Which couple areas do you need to improve on? Firstly I would recommend in life, build better connections with other people and show your positive side. Live in the moment, but not focus on your competitors. Your performance in your career, your expansion of social networks, your improvement of health and body shape, if you are willing to improve these areas, you would realise how different others view you and see you with a different perspective. 

At the same time, when your future life partner chooses to pick one between two, it will significantly increase the probability of selecting you. Because she would realise you are a man who keeps self-improving. You feel that there is progress going forward, and the progress is non stop. Therefore your partner would feel safe staying with you. Your partner would feel that stay with you will lead to a better future. 

That’s what a mature man should do. Even though my current condition is at a disadvantage, it does not mean my future state would simply stay the same way only. Maybe I just haven’t reached my full potential. Even though I just had an ordinary job today, it doesn’t mean I would not achieve something great in the future. But before you reached the goals, you must show you have the potential. You must show you can achieve great things in life. That’s why self-improvement is so important because your partner could see that you have potential. She could see your hidden ability. She could see that you are a man who has a high standard for yourself. You are not a man who is stuck in the same place with no progress. 

When your partner needs to pick one man between the two, your competitor may never improve himself. True, maybe his qualities at this moment are better than yours. Perhaps he is more handsome than you, but if you spend the effort to tidy up your appearance then you could decrease the gap. And honestly, even though you are not as handsome as the other man, you can dress cooler than him. You can demonstrate yourself as a man who has a quality of better judgement. At that moment, you have attractiveness and charisma. Because your partner may also care about fashion. If you have the same fashion sense as your partner, she will categorise you as the same group of people like her. She would regard you as the person who can go out for dating. She would treat you as the one who can maintain a long relationship with. 

Even if your lady did not choose you, actually, it does not matter. You are the man. You are a real man. During the process of continuous improvement, you expand your social network. During the change of health and body shape, you would meet other girls. And these girls would start to look at you differently. Not just treat you as regular friends, but it could be friends with the potential to go out for dating, or even fall in love with you at first sight. Your self-improvement would help you to reach a higher and higher level. Then you would have more options in life. So even your lady chose another man, it feels painful initially, but it does not matter. You still have another choice. 

Another reason the lady did not choose you, maybe you are not ready. Perhaps she wants to fall in love with you, and your qualities perfectly fit her criteria. However, the way you speak did not show confidence. You are a follower instead of a leader. Ladies do not want to stay with a subordinate. 

Because you are not going out of your comfort zone and living a boring life when your life is boring, even she wants to fall in love with you, even if she thinks you are perfect in all qualities of the checklist, even if she wants to fall in love with you, but she really could not raise the interest. She would predict how life would look like if she stays with you. If your life is so boring now, you are so bored before dating. Then she could imagine dating with you is also boring, three years past, five years past, even getting married is a boring life, not fun at all. Your partner wants a life with fun. A bit better than she was single. If you could not prove that you could give her a life with adventure, a life with joy and travelling, then you must be foul. It’s self-evident. Today, before any relationship starts, you must demonstrate you are an attractive man. 

A man who dares to speak up and tell the truth in public speaking is attractive. A man who dares to take challenges. If you are not showing your good qualities, your lady would think you are soft. Not just soft in a particular body part, but your character is weak. When there is a conflict, she could predict you would avoid it and run away in that situation to hide in a safer place. That is not what your lady wants. She wants a real man who could face the conflicts. She wants a man who loves adventures. She wants a man who could handle difficult conversations and know how to resolve problems. 

Are you a man that like? That’s why you read my blog to motivate you to be a better man. Therefore, don’t be afraid your partner would leave you forever simply because of one single sentence you said wrongly. During your communication with your partner, you need to know how to flirt playfully. You need to sparks the feeling of love, the vibe of a positive environment. For example, inject a bit of humour, disagreement and challenges, just like public speaking. Similarly, you need to praise your partner and make her feel good, and you need to be different from others. You need to say the right thing at the right time in a friendly manner. Let your lady get the feeling of love. Don’t be too dull.

Some men may be too playful. He knew all the tricks to pick up girls. The identity is established, but the girls may not want to date this type of guy. Why not? Because he did not take anything seriously. Instead, you need to take something seriously as your life philosophy. You need to know what is your life mission to live in this world. You need to let your lady knows there is a future to stay with you. If there is no chance for a better future, there is no reason to stay with you. If you are insecure, if you cannot provide fun, you have no chance to win her heart. You cannot miss any of the good qualities. Are you an ambitious man? Are you a man with goals? Are you a man who could contribute values to society? These are really important. 

What are your goals? Are they only good for yourself? If all your goals are only for the benefit of yourself, your lady could imagine in the future, you would be very selfish in your life. If you are a selfish person, how would any lady want to stay with you? Maybe it is okay just for the short term relationship for fun. But not for a long term stable relationship because you could not provide her with a sense of security. That’s important for you to find the mission in life and take responsibility. 

What are your roles in society? You need to be clear and know yourself and be able to communicate with others. Be fun on one side, be serious on the other side. You are having both sides and your lady may fall in love with you.

At the same time, do not put too much pressure on the relationship. Whether it was the beginning or transition to the next stage, you may feel insecure and fear losing your loved one, and then you tried whatever way to keep her with you. It is the wrong mindset. Because human beings are emotional to make decisions, she wants to make decisions herself instead of being forced to do so. There is a difference. Nobody in the world would enjoy being forced to make decisions. If I force you to read my blog, would you want to read it? Definitely not. If I said whether you want to read my blog or not, this is your choice, and then you would think if my blog is beneficial to you or not, it’s an entirely different feeling. Nobody wants to be forced to make a decision. The keyword is freedom. Give your lady complete freedom to choose whether she wants to stay with you or not. Do not give her pressure, but let her make the decision to pick you. It’s beautiful to let the progress goes naturally. Let her choose if you are suitable for her or not. Do not give pressure. Focus on having a good vibe, do not focus on your competitors.

I hope you learn something from my blog. If you like my article, please recommend it to your friend who need this. It helps you be a better man with high value, both in love relationships and careers. This would be beneficial to you. Connect with me as a friend and expand your social network.

By Victor Leung

Experience in software development, consulting services and technical product management. Understanding of business and technology with an MBA in Finance and a Master degree in Computer Science. AWS Certified Solution Architect with experience in building products from scratch and serving as a charismatic leader.

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