Swipe Left or Swipe Right? A Journey Through Dating and Maturity

March 31, 2021

Are you single or perhaps in a complicated marital status? Finding love can be a daunting task, whether you're single or "available."

2021 03 31

I'm no stranger to dating apps like Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, and Hinge. Let me break down how they work: you swipe left to reject a profile and swipe right to connect. Most of the time, conversations end before they even begin, leaving me with untold stories.

On the education section of my dating profile, I mention my three university degrees, each tied to a story. It's not a big deal—just three stories, really.

First, there's my bachelor's degree in Chemistry from the Faculty of Science.

In high school, I was a dreamer engaged in student union activities while my then-girlfriend was a realist focused on academic excellence. We had divergent ambitions. After high school, we went to separate universities; I studied Chemistry, while she enrolled in business school. During a summer holiday, she broke up with me, criticizing my lack of ambition for our future. "Come on, Victor, can you be more mature?" she chided before walking away.

My second degree is a master's in Computer Science.

My first girlfriend was right. I ended up in a low-paying lab job and later went on a working holiday to Australia. Upon my return, I shifted careers to software engineering. To bridge the gap between my academic background and my new career, I pursued a master's degree in computer science. During this period, I met another girlfriend on a dating app. An extrovert, she earned more than I did and found me too controlling, which led to our breakup. "Come on, Victor, can you be more mature?" she said as she left.

Finally, there's my MBA.

Determined for a career change, I started an MBA program, stepping out of my comfort zone to network, which, yes, included drinking. During this time, I dated a Korean woman whose age I never quite determined. She left me for not being mature enough for her taste. "Come on, Victor, can you be more mature?" she advised before exiting my life.

So here I am, back on dating apps but with more self-awareness. I used to be a dreamer; now, I'm pragmatic. I used to be introverted; now, I've overcome my shyness to share this story with you. I used to be immature in relationships; now, I strive to be a responsible adult.

So, would you swipe left or right on me?

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Victor Leung, who blog about business, technology and personal development. Happy to connect on LinkedIn